You came back
by That-Hamster-Wheel
Summary: Joe never died. He was just placed deep undercover and made to look dead. When he finally gets out 4 years later and finds Jamie again what will happen. Read on. Inspiration song: Holding on and Letting go by Ross Cooperman
1. You came back

A/N: Just came to me, because Joe Reagan is my favorite non shown character. I am hoping you guys like this.

It was Saturday, 4 years after Joe had passed away. Jamie was sitting at home, with Joe's favorite vanilla cinnamon tea, on the window seat. He was looking out at the street below wondering why life had to be so hard. He was just a cop after all, so why did his family life have to be so complicated. He kept thinking that if he had a different last name things would be easier for him. 'Things would have been easier for Joe...' He trailed off bitterly.

The leaves were swirling outside and Jamie opened the window, to let a bit of fresh air into the apartment. He just sat there lost in his thoughts and his own world. He wanted to be alone tonight. The doorbell rang several times but he didn't hear it. Then there was loud pounding on his door. He thought it might be Eddie so he said "Eddie I'm not in the mood to hangout."

When he didn't get her very female reply he knew something was up. Then he heard it, "Jamie open the door it's me."

It was Joe's voice and he thought he was hearing things. "That's impossible. Joe's dead." Jamie said going to the door and looking through the peep hole.

When he really did see Joe he almost fainted. "Open the door and let me in Jamie." Joe said.

Jamie opened the door and hugged Joe so hard. He was already crying so hard, in his arms and Joe was rubbing his back. "I'm so sorry Jamie. I'm so sorry I had to leave and hurt you like I did." Joe soothed.

Jamie had hiccups and said "Why did you leave? Why did you make me believe you were murdered? I needed you." A through the hiccups.

"I had no choice. Come on let's go sit down and talk about it." Joe said and closed the door. He poured himself a cup of tea and smiled when he realized it was his favorite.

"Some things never change." Joe commented and pointed to his cup of tea. Jamie smiled slightly.

"Where should I start?" Joe asked.

"Tell me why. Tell me what happened." Jamie replied.

He had stopped crying but was still emotional. "Well I was actually shot, by the old warrant squad members, but I survived." Joe started saying.

"So who did we bury? Who was in that coffin? Who did I grieve for?" Jamie questioned.

"A lifelike mannequin. It was designed to look like me in every way, so you would all be fooled. I even fooled Dad and he is hard to fool." Joe answered.

"I knew something was off... You didn't have that scar on your neck, that you got from the fishing accident." Jamie noted.

"Well I forgot I even had the scar. But then again, you were always the observant one, in the family." Joe said.

"So that explains who we buried, but it doesn't explain where you have been, for the past 4 years." Jamie said.

"Hold on I am getting there. Patience little brother." Joe commented then sipped more of his tea. "This is really good tea."

"Where was I... Oh right, so I had to go undercover, to stop this terror plot in New York." Joe said.

"You were hiding in New York all this time and I didn't even know." Jamie shouted feeling so hurt.

"I'm sorry Jamie. I couldn't reach out to anyone. I couldn't tell anyone I was alive." Joe said and hugged Jamie again.

"I cried for you and I didn't eat properly for weeks, and I was holed up in my old room. I was depressed and broken. And now I find out you are here, and I am so happy, but I am still so hurt." Jamie confessed.

"I know and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you and Dad and everyone else. If it makes you feel any better, I stopped the terror attacks on New York with the undercover group, I was a part of." Joe admitted.

"There is probably only one way you can make it up to me. Live in my spare bedroom here at my apartment and never leave me again." Jamie said and just cried again.

Joe rubbed his back again and soothed him. "I would love to move in with you Jamie." Joe said accepting the offer graciously.

"You know what I still don't get..." Jamie trailed off jumping into thinking mode.

"What?" Joe asked.

"Why it had to be you. What was so special about you, that they needed you to go as far as, faking your death, and making your whole family believe you were murdered." Jamie replied.

"Well I was the best in my field, and as you already know, most of the cops in the warrant squad were dirty, and I was one of the few good cops, with actual talent and knowledge." Joe said.

"I mean that makes sense. They put the best guy undercover, but they made us believe, you died a horrific death." Jamie commented.

Joe sat and thought for a moment. It was getting dark and the sun was setting. He was thinking of how to say things without crying too. "I really missed you. I thought about you everyday. I thought about how you were doing. I heard you became a cop and I was so proud of you."

The tears fell from Joe's eyes and he continued, "I wanted so many times to pick up a phone and call you and hear your voice but I couldn't."

Joe choked on the emotion and said "I am so proud of you. You have become a great cop."

"Coming from you that means a lot. There were times when I wanted to give up, and quit, but then I looked at your photo inside my hat. It all made sense, I was doing this because I wanted to make you proud and show you that even though you weren't here anymore, that you impacted my life so much." Jamie said.

"I felt so bad when Angie gave you that box of my stuff and all that was left was a flannel shirt and my iPod and a few old cassettes." Joe admitted.

"I still have your iPod. You are welcome to have it back, it is your's after all." Jamie offered.

"I would really like that. I wonder how Angie is..." Joe trailed off.

"She never got over it and she never married anyone. We have kept in touch over the years." Jamie admitted.

"Think I would still have a chance? All this time and I am still in love with her. I want to marry that woman!" Joe exclaimed.

"I think she would be thrilled, you are alive. I think you should call her tomorrow." Jamie suggested.

"I think I will, and I know I will enjoy living with you. Now I just have to figure out how to tell the rest of the family, I am alive." Joe said with a chuckle.

Jamie laughed at that and they spent the rest of the evening together on the window seat, glad to be together again.


	2. My phone call with Angie

It was the morning of the next day. Joe woke up to find Jamie asleep next to him, on the window seat. He was thinking about Angie again. 'If I call her she will panic. Maybe I should have Jamie talk to her first...'Joe thought to himself.Jamie woke up and looked around, thinking it had all been a dream, until Joe said "Good morning Jamie." Jamie looked at Joe and smiled. 'It wasn't a dream. He's real and he's alive.' Jamie thought.

"Good morning." Jamie said. It felt so good for Joe to hear his voice again. He realized he had missed Jamie the most.

"I want to call Angie today. Do you know where she lives?" Joe asked.

"She moved away for a while, but she couldn't resist coming back. She has always been a New York girl, at heart." Jamie said.

Joe suddenly got nervous. "What if I call and scare her? Can you call her and chat her up and then pass the phone to me, to soften the blow and shock?" Joe asked.

"Still the same as ever I see." Jamie said.

"So will you talk to her and explain things?" Joe asked, his nerves getting the better of him.

"Yes I will. Actually I haven't talked to her in a few weeks. I want to see how she is doing." Jamie replied.

Joe went to the kitchen and put on the kettle. He roamed around the fridge, and found breakfast items to cook. "Do you still like hard boiled eggs?" Joe asked.

"Yep, I haven't eaten them any other way, since you... well since then." Jamie replied.

Joe filled a pot with water and placed 4 eggs inside. He turned on the burner on the stove and place the pot to boil. "You don't eat sausage, if I remember correctly. I found turkey bacon in the fridge, is this okay?" Joe asked. He didn't want to cook anything, his brother wouldn't eat.

"Yes, that sounds perfect. Thanks for cooking breakfast." Jamie replied with a smile.

Jamie busied himself with making a few phone calls. One was to Erin, making sure she got the bread for Sunday dinner. The other was to Eddie, reminding her to pick up her dry cleaning. The last phone call took the longest. He called Angie and it was rough. "Hey Angie how are you doing?" Jamie asked into the phone.

"Well I've been better..." Angie trailed off into the phone.

"I may be able to make things better." Jamie said into the phone.

"I'm listening..." Angie said into the phone.

"You know how we always talked, about what we would do, if Joe were alive. Well we don't have to talk anymore." Jamie explained into the phone.

"How come? Do you not want to talk about him anymore?" Angie asked feeling very sad.

"Actually I was wondering if you could come over. I could really use the company and I can serve his favorite tea. Do you think you could come after breakfast?" Jamie asked.

"Yes I can, but that doesn't answer my question." Angie said.

"I want to talk about him with you over tea." Jamie answered.

"I will be there at 11." Angie said and hung up her end.

Jamie hung up his end and then walked over to the island, to sit on a stool. "She will be here around 11 am. You should get ready after breakfast." Jamie said, as Joe placed his breakfast in front of him.

"Perfect." Joe said.

The pair ate breakfast, their first meal together in a very long time. Jamie had better breakfasts then this, at diners or cooked by Grandpa, but to him this meal was perfect. A few tears slipped down his face and he tried to wipe them away. "Jamie what's wrong?" Joe asked, noticing his apparent sadness.

"I just never imagine, I would be eating a meal with you, ever again. I guess I am just really emotional." Jamie replied and reached to squeeze Joe's hand briefly, before eating more food.

"It's like firsts all over again. First hug, first meal, first drive in a car... heck the first Sunday dinner will be the hardest for me. I understand where you are coming from, this is all so new for me too. Learning that I can walk the streets now, and show myself again in public." Joe said. He was very excited, for all the new avenues, available to him now.

"I just... part of me wishes I could keep you safe, here, just the two of us. I can't be selfish and lock you up in here. I just don't want to lose you again." Jamie expressed, the sadness consuming him.

"You won't lose me. I am not going back to the warrant squad. I am going to talk to Dad, and have myself placed in a safer area of the NYPD. Knowing Dad, he will want me working at 1PP, where he can keep a close eye on me." Joe said thoughtfully.

Jamie was shaking and crying. His body was limp, and he his hands were just dangling at his sides. Joe just didn't know what to do, except go over to his side of the table, and hug him. "Hey... it's okay. Jamie... oh Jamie... I'm so sorry. I wish I had never done this, that I had never left you." Joe soothed. He rubbed Jamie's back, and just whispered little things in his ear.

Jamie stopped crying after a while, and Joe looked at him. Jamie wiped his eyes and tried to smile. "There, that's better. I think I like my brother best, when he smiles." Joe said and smiled back.

"I have you back. I know now that I will be okay, because of this. I love you Joe." Jamie said through his remaining emotions.

When breakfast was finished, Joe went to get ready. He took a shower and really cleaned up. He blow dried his hair and styled it. 'Dang I look handsome.' Joe thought. He kept admiring himself in the mirror for a few minutes, before he finally got dressed.

During his time in the bathroom, he had heard Jamie answer the door and greet Angie. He heard their muffled voices and heard his name mentioned a few times. "Why don't we sit in the kitchen, at the island and I will serve us tea." Jamie said.

"Tea sounds lovely Jamie." Angie commented.

Joe left the bathroom. "Jamie is the tea..." Joe trailed off and stood still in the kitchen. There was the woman who had stolen his heart, many years ago. She was still as beautiful, as back then. He was speechless and blown away. "Joe I didn't know you were done your shower. Angie... I'm sorry." Jamie said, turning to Angie, as he said the last part.

"Jamie what's going on? Who is this? He looks just like Joe and you called him so." Angie said, feeling really shocked and confused.

"I called him Joe, because he is Joe. It's hard to explain." Jamie said, looking back and forth between the two. He was feeling strange, his heart raced a little at the situation in front of him.

Angie was very confused, but nevertheless she walked over, and looked at the man claiming to be her Joe. She examined him closely and noticed everything was the same. "He even has the scar, Joe got during the fishing accident." Angie commented and traced the scar.

"Angie, sweetheart it's me. I'm alive and I am really here." Joe said.

She tentatively lifted her hand and traced the lines of his face. Joe captured her hand in both of his, and suddenly she felt this warmth sweep over her. It started at the tips of her fingers, and spread all over her body. She felt this warmth emanate from them, and she felt safe. "It's really him... I can't believe it's him..." Angie trailed off and looked deep into his eyes.

Joe looked at her and gently leaned down, to place a quick, albeit tentative kiss to her cheek. Angie was surprised, but made no move, to suggest she didn't enjoy it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jamie's facial expression. It was one of great longing and sadness. "Why don't you go call Syd. Tell her you love her. Where is she anyways?" Joe said.

Angie glared at Joe and gave him a look, which said he did something very wrong.

"We haven't been together in years. There's someone else... but I can't." Jamie tried to explain but failed miserably.

"I'm so sorry Jamie, I had no idea. I'm sorry if I upset you." Joe offered his apology and gave him a big bear hug.

"Joe, let's give Jamie a bit of space, and talk in your room for a little bit." Angie suggested.

Joe taking the hint, agreed easily. The pair walked off to catch up further, while Jamie was left alone with his thoughts. 'I want to call her so bad and tell her how I feel... but I will ruin everything. I can never be happy like that with her. I can't have the girl.' Jamie thought to himself.

Inside Joe's bedroom, the pair were sitting on Joe's bed. They were sitting cross legged, face to face, and she was watching him intently. They were talking and Joe was telling jokes. Angie was laughing at a joke he told. "And then the rooster struts off down some laneway." Joe finished, and Angie burst out laughing again.

"I missed you. I missed this, and I really missed your jokes." Angie stated sincerely.

"I know and I feel the same way. I missed everything. I wanted to call you, but I wasn't allowed to contact anyone." Joe said in a sad voice.

"It was part of the job, and that is why I can look at you and forgive you." Angie said.

She touched his face and smiled. "I bet he won't call her." Angie said suddenly.

"Who is she anyways?" Joe asked, feeling very much out of the loop and curious.

"Her name is Eddie Janko, and she is his partner. He won't really say, but I think he's been in love with her, since the day he first met her." Angie stated in a rather calm voice.

"Should I go give him a pep talk? I am famous for those you know." Joe quipped.

"That might be a good idea. I tried to convince him to ask her out, to see this movie she has been wanting to see last month, and he wouldn't do it." Angie sighed and shook her head.

"I will just pop my head out then and say something to him." Joe reasoned. I mean after all, it seemed like the brotherly thing to do. If he didn't call her however, he would have to give him a sharp kick in the ass.

Jamie drank more tea, and continued his internal debate, over whether to call Eddie, when Joe popped his head out and said "Call her okay, just call her and everything will fall into place. Trust me Jamie, you deserve to be happy.", before going back into his room.

'Maybe he's right, maybe I do deserve to be happy. But at what cost... losing her as my partner, and losing being around her every day. I would miss her closeness.' Jamie realized.

Jamie picked up the phone and dialed Eddie's number. "Reagan you already reminded me about my dry cleaning." Eddie said in an annoyed voice.

"I know, it's just... earlier when I called you there was something else. I wasn't sure how to tell you, and I am really scared." Jamie admitted.

"Hey Jamie you can tell me anything lambchop." Eddie said in a soft tone. She felt rather terrible for being annoyed with him.

"My brother is back." Jamie said in a shaky voice. He didn't know how to talk about this.

"Danny went on vacation? But we just saw him the other day." Eddie said not quite understanding it.

"No Eddie... Joe. He's alive and he is living with me. He showed up at my door last night. I was so scared and I was a sobbing emotional mess. To be honest I need to see you. I have some other things to talk about with you in person. I just... I can't go on as we are. I want more. I need more..." Jamie said, and tried to keep his voice even.

Eddie was shocked and silent for a few minutes, before finding her voice. "Wow Jamie... That's really big. You always talked about what life would be like, if he came back or was alive. I am so happy for you. Jamie I am really flattered, I would love to talk more over lunch. How about we meet at Metro burger." Eddie suggested. She was taking it all in, it was a lot to process.

"Metro burger sounds great. I will see you soon." Jamie said and hung up, after they said goodbye.

Jamie knocked on Joe's door and said "Hey I am meeting Eddie, for lunch at Metro burger. There are ingredients to make sandwiches in the fridge. Maybe you and Angie can have lunch here together."

Joe caught Jamie's suggestion and said "That's a great idea. Also early next week I have a date, with this lovely lady." Joe said and held up their laced hands.

"Aww... I'm so happy for both of you. This is great news." Jamie said.

Jamie grabbed his coat and out of habit Joe's old one strap backpack, before he emptied the contents, into his coat pocket, and said "Here, I think this belongs to you." and handed it to him.

Joe was surprised this backpack was still in great shape. "Thanks Jamie, this means a lot to me."

"I know it does." Jamie said and with that, he walked out the front door and off to his so called date.

Jamie took the subway, thinking it would be faster than his car. He was proven right, as the subway was early, and he ran into Eddie a few stops later. They took the subway a few more stops, then got off close to Metro burger. Eddie was shaky and wobbly on her feet. Her nerves getting the better of her, she had no idea what Jamie intended here. Perhaps he just wanted to hangout more after work as friends, or maybe he wanted to date her. 'Could I really date Jamie?' Eddie thought, as they walked up the stairs and back to the surface.

Jamie noted that she was nervous and wondered why. 'Could she be regretting this? Maybe she doesn't really want to date me. Could I have been wrong to ask her out?' Jamie thought. Someone on a bike zipped by, and almost ran Eddie over, except before it happened, Jamie pulled Eddie in close to his body. His arm was wrapped protectively around her and he didn't let go for a few minutes. Eddie was surprised, but quickly caught herself. "Jamie you can let go now. I am safe." Eddie said and tried to push him away lightly.

"I'm sorry. I am really emotional, and I guess I got scared, when that guy almost hit you." Jamie admitted.

"It's okay Lambchop, I get it." Eddie said and rubbed his back soothingly.

Jamie felt so embarrassed, he was a nervous wreck and it was showing. They walked closely to Metro burger, and found that their favorite booth was available. They snagged it and waited until the waitress came over. "Hello, my name's Cindy and I will be your server. Would you like anything to drink?" The waitress asked.

"We would love water. Eddie do you know what you want?" Jamie asked curiously.

"I will take the NYC underground burger and fries." Eddie said to the waitress.

"I will have the same as her." Jamie said and handed the waitress the menus.

The waitress left with the menus and went to place their order with the cook. They sat in comfortable silence, neither wanting to be the first to speak, until the waitress returned with their waters. "Thank you." Jamie said politely.

"So..." Eddie trailed off in a shaky voice.

He observed her, hands trembling slightly and posture too straight to be normal. "I wasn't sure how to explain everything. Joe, today he got back together with Angie. Angie was his girlfriend before he had to go deep undercover." Jamie started. "He found love again and it got me thinking, about everything I was missing. About the happiness right in front of me, which I was denying myself." Jamie said thoughtfully.

Eddie looked at him curiously and asked "What is this happiness? Does she have a name? Is it a place?". She was confused and her face made a funny, quizzical expression.

"I think that happiness is someone you know very well. She's so beautiful and she has the most amazing smile, a funny laugh, beautiful hair, she's sassy and tough at work. She's everything I have been looking for." Jamie said and let the bliss set in.

'Why is he telling me all of this...? Why do I want to know about some other girl? Wait... I'm sassy and tough at work. Kara always says I have a funny laugh. Oh my gosh could it be me? Could I be his happiness?' Eddie questioned internally.

"I don't know what to say. That sounds very nice. I am so happy for you. You really should tell her before it's too late." Eddie advised, feeling slightly hurt.

"I already have, when we shared a kiss one night, after drinks with friends. I know she feels the same way, but I think we are both scared, to admit how we feel. I am ready now." Jamie says and stares right into her eyes.

Eddie stares back and this spark ignites. "Happiness has a name, and its name is Eddie, isn't it. Oh Jamie." Eddie says with realization.

Jamie smiled at her and she just knew she was right. The waitress brought their food and said "Sorry for the wait, the kitchen was a bit backed up. Enjoy your NYC underground burgers."

"Thanks." They said in unison and laughed at the fact that they did.

Back at the apartment, Joe and Angie were cooking together, and it was the cutest scene. They were making panini's and it proved to be an interesting endeavor. "Add the Swiss cheese to the ham, and then add the honey mustard on the bottom." Joe instructed.

Angie did as she was told, and together they finished the two sandwiches, and got the press ready. Joe placed the sandwiches on the heated press, after a few minutes of waiting for it to heat up, and closed the lid. "In a few minutes, we feast." Joe said excitedly.

"You used to love when we ate panini's together. That one food truck, Panini Express, was your favorite place to eat with me, on your days off." Angie commented, while looking into Joe's eyes.

"We have all the time in the world to eat lunches there." Joe offered with a big smile.

A few minutes later their panini's were ready and Joe plated them. Elsewhere at Metro burger Jamie and Eddie were enjoying their burgers. "Wow this burger gets better every time. I don't know how they do it, but I want to know their secret." Jamie said, as Eddie released a small, barely audible moan into her burger.

Eddie chewed and swallowed her bite of burger, then said "The secret to a moist burger is the egg. Most people forget to add it Reagan, but I say you really should add it to the mix."

"Egg huh? What about tender beef?" Jamie inquired.

"That too, that's also important." Eddie mentioned. "Also the spices and how long you cook it, too long and it is really dry, too little and it could be raw and bloody inside." She finished.

"Wow, when did you become a burger expert?" Jamie asked.

"Probably around the time you realized, you were eating too much salad." Eddie said with a chuckle.

"Hey! I take offense to that. I love my salads. Leave them out of this, they did nothing wrong to you." Jamie said faking hurt.

"Drama queen. Your precious salads are safe." Eddie reassured.

Joe and Angie were having the best lunch, at the apartment. "You gotta try a glass of this." Joe says, pouring a purplish clear liquid into a glass.

"What is it?" Angie inquired, curious to know.

"It's homemade blueberry iced tea. Jamie, he makes different iced teas homemade from fruit teas." Joe explained. "He's been doing it for years, since before..." Joe trailed off, feeling uncomfortable.

'I left them, I left all of them, and I regret it. I should have said no... I lost the woman of my dreams and my brother Jamie. I am just glad they are so forgiving.' Joe thought.

Angie took a sip and savored the taste, before swallowing the beverage. "It's really good!" Angie exclaimed. Angie noticed his pained expression and placed her hand on top of his. "Hey, it's okay. We are together again, and that's all that matters. Don't waste time with regrets Joe, that won't get you anywhere." Angie soothed tenderly.

'How does she do that, even after all these years, she can still read me like a book? I can't wait to ask her to marry me.' Joe thought happily.

Back at the diner, "That burger was so good." Eddie said, while she rubbed her very full stomach.

"This was a great choice Eddie. I always love coming here with you." Jamie spoke honestly.

"Do you want to split a milkshake?" Eddie asked nervously. Her hands started trembling again, so she hid them under the table.

'She wants to split a milkshake... Oh wow!' Jamie thought rather excitedly.

"I would love to. You pick the flavor." Jamie casually replied.

The waitress came back and Eddie ordered. "We would love a tall strawberry milkshake, two straws please." Eddie said.

"Okay coming right up. Also Gavin our chef says you two make the cutest couple. Apparently he remembers you two, says you come here often together." The waitress stated.

Eddie and Jamie blushed, before Eddie quickly clarified "Oh we're not a couple, we're partners at the NYPD."

"That's a shame. Gavin will be so disappointed. You guys really had everyone fooled. You would make the perfect couple." She said, before clearing their plates, and putting in the next order for them.

"Does everyone think we should be a couple?" Eddie asked shaking her head.

Jamie was so hurt, he felt like someone had shot an arrow through his heart, and pulled hard. He felt like he was bleeding inside.

"Well they aren't wrong. I think we would make a great couple." Jamie said, and reached for the hand she had placed on the table, when she ordered.

Eddie upon hearing this, got lost in thought. 'He actually wants to date me. I'm so plain and there are way more attractive people out there. I can't believe he wants to date me.'

"So you don't want to be partners anymore?" Eddie accused, when she came out of it.

"I never said that. I just said I wish we could be more. I enjoy riding with you, best partner I ever had, but I want to be with you, as a couple." Jamie stated.

The waitress brought back their milkshake and said "Gavin cried and said it's on the house. I think his heart just got broken." The waitress said, before leaving.

"Now I feel really guilty." Eddie said in a low voice.

"I just wish you would consider it. Consider us, we could be amazing." Jamie pleaded, so sure of this statement.

"I'm scared, scared of what will happen if we don't work out." Eddie spoke softly.

"Just say you will give us a chance." Jamie said and offered her the first sip of the milkshake.

Eddie took a sip and smiled. "Well I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Alright, I will give you a chance." Eddie relented and passed the milkshake to Jamie.

Jamie had other ideas, and pulled Eddie out of her side and over to his. "We can drink it together." Jamie said and laced their hands.

Angie and Joe finished lunch, then Angie said "I actually have to go. Gosh I'm so sorry Joe, but I have some work to do. I will call you."

"Wait, I was wondering if maybe on Monday, you would want to grab dinner after work." Joe asked hopefully.

"I would love to. That sounds like a wonderful idea." Angie replied and kissed Joe softly on the lips.

Joe pulled her in close and relished the feeling of her tender kiss. When they broke apart, "Wow I really missed that feeling." Joe commented.

"What feeling?" Angie asked.

"The feeling of floating on air and feeling warm all over your body. Your kisses always make me feel that way." Joe replied.

"Aww... That's so sweet." Angie said and gently cupped his cheek, before giving him another quick kiss. She walked out the front door with her coat and purse, and left him just standing there with a goofy grin on his face.

Over at Metro burger, "So I'll bring you breakfast tomorrow. The muffins at the bakery near my house, are out of this world." Jamie said.

"I love muffins, I can't wait!" Eddie excitedly exclaimed.

Jamie had already paid a few moments ago. The pair walked off to the subway again and caught it to get home. When they arrived at Eddie's stop, Jamie gently grabbed her hand and pulled her close.

"I love you Edit Marie Janko." Jamie said and gently kissed her on the lips, before letting her get off. She was stunned, but said quickly, before the doors closed, "I love you too Jamison Reagan."

Jamie rode the rest of the way to his stop, with the goofiest smile on his face.

When he got to the apartment and walked in the door, he and Joe said at the same time, "I just had the best date."


	3. Lunch with Erin

Jamie woke up, and had the events of yesterday, floating around in his head. It had been an amazing day, and an amazing date with Eddie.

 _[Flashback]_

Jamie had just walked into the apartment, arriving home from his date with Eddie. Joe and him had said "I just had the best date.", at the exact same time.

Jamie chuckled and said "So tell me about your date."

Joe had started talking about reconnecting with Angie, and how it felt like they had never been apart. "She laughed at all my jokes, just like before, and she talked about our favorite food truck. The one that makes panini's and I told her we had plenty of time to eat there and be together." Joe had said.

"Sounds like an amazing lunch date." Jamie commented.

"I want to marry this woman. She completes me, and I can't see myself with anyone else but her." Joe expressed.

"Boy you got it had huh Connor." Jamie said, and let out a laugh. Sometimes when Jamie was teasing Joe, he called him by his middle name, and this was no exception.

"Laugh it up, but I heard you got it bad for Officer Janko." Joe called him on it.

Jamie blushed and shuffled his feet. "Aha I got you. So how was your date then? Did the pretty Officer kiss you?" Joe asked.

"No... I kissed her. Our date went great. We always eat at Metro Burger, and we always get the NYC underground burger and fries, and we did everything the same. Only this time I told her how I felt." Jamie started. "I told her that kissing her before, and then telling her it was a mistake, was a mistake and that I really wanted to be with her all this time. She was shocked and I told her to consider us, and also to give us a chance. She said she would give us a chance, so I guess we have to file for new partners." Jamie finished.

"Wow and I thought my life was complicated, but good for you. I'm so happy for you and so proud of you. You totally manned up today, and you did something that was really hard for you." Joe said and clapped him on the back, in a brotherly gesture.

"Yeah I never thought I would be able to do it, but now that I have, I realized it wasn't as scary, as I thought it would be." Jamie admitted.

"Being brave isn't just something we do in cop mode. We also have to strive, to be brave in our personal lives too." Joe said.

"I know and I also have this funny feeling, that Mom would have really liked Eddie. Mom would have saw all the amazing qualities, that I see in Eddie, and would have said she was perfect for me." Jamie said with a hint of sadness.

Jamie realized, that while he got his brother back, his mother would not be returning. Cancer had taken her and she was in a better place. He still couldn't help days when he missed her, and longed for her warm hugs. "I know she would have. Mom was such a free spirit and she was amazing. She really did a good job with all of us. I mean we all turned out great didn't we. Erin is a great lawyer and Danny is a detective and you went to Harvard law and became a cop. She did something right." Joe concluded.

Jamie hugged Joe and then said "Let's get dinner started, so we can have a nice meal together."

[End flashback]

Joe walked into the kitchen, and saw Jamie sitting on the window seat with a cup of tea, staring out the window. "Anything interesting out there, that I should know about?" Joe said in a teasing voice.

"Not really, I just like doing this, when I wake up in the morning. I used to look out the window and pretend that you were out there somewhere, and you were coming home soon." Jamie said.

Joel's heart broke when he heard this. "Little did you know you weren't pretending at all. I actually was out there and I was coming home, just not as soon as you had hoped." Joe soothed.

"I'm so glad I was right. That my game of pretend turned out to be reality." Jamie said.

"So we had eggs for breakfast yesterday, how about French toast today? I pulled a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread out of the freezer last night." Joe suggested.

"You can make French toast too? I am never letting you leave. You are amazing Joe." Jamie expressed gratefully.

Joe went to the kitchen and Jamie followed him. Together they made French toast and drank more tea. Jamie dipped the bread slices in the egg mixture, and then placed them in the hot pan, Joe was tending to. Joe carefully cooked each side until they were golden, and then stacked them on a plate. He grabbed the maple syrup from the fridge and set everything on the island to eat. "Do you mind if I pray for breakfast?" Joe asked.

"Not at all, go for it." Jamie replied.

They put their hands together and Joe prayed for breakfast.

Erin knocked on Jamie's door, having previous plans, to eat lunch with him this week. Jamie answered the door and gave Erin a big hug, when she came in the apartment. Joe was on the couch laying down and he was hidden from their view. "Hey Er, how was your morning?" Jamie asked.

"Good, but I have a tough case." Erin replied.

"Why don't we go sit on the couch for a bit." Jamie offered, completely forgetting Joe was laying on the couch.

Erin got the fright of her life, when she looked down at the couch, and saw Joe laying on it. "Hey Er..." Joe trailed off nervously and gave a little wave.

Erin screamed and jumped back scared of what she was seeing. "Jamie who is this man?" Erin asked, although she had a funny feeling, she knew the answer.

"You don't recognize me?" Joe lifted his chin and showed her the fishing scar on his neck.

"Jamie why does he have the same scar as Joe?" Erin asked again.

"Erin that's Joe. He lives with me, he's alive." Jamie replied, not fazed by this, in the slightest.

"I must be seeing things. He's not really there and Jamie's always been a little crazy, so that must be it." Erin rashionalized.

Joe stood up from his position of laying down on the couch, and walked closer to Erin. He then leaned down and kissed her forehead. It was something he always did, when she had a tough case and he visited her office. Erin was stunned, but then she found her voice. "Jamie it's him. Oh my gosh he's really real, and he's alive. I can't believe it." Erin said, in a surprised tone of voice.

Erin reached up and and hugged Joe tightly. Joe wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a big hug, a hug that expressed his love and how sorry he was for leaving.

Jamie watched his sister surrender to Joe's warm embrace and smiled. "I was shocked too, when he came to my door two nights ago. " Jamie said.

"I missed you and I cried for you, I felt the pain for so long. Jamie always talked, about what would happen if you were alive and I told him, that I would give you a big hug." Erin expressed, as she let go of Joe.

"I missed you too and I told Jamie, I had wanted so many times to pick up that phone, and hear everyone's voices, but I wasn't allowed." Joe explained to her.

"I know, the job is important and you have to follow the rules." Erin conceded.

"I wanted to break them for all of you. Doing this to all of you, is my biggest regret." Joe admitted.

"Don't feel bad, I'm not mad at you." Erin soothed and reached up to gently caress his cheek tenderly, in a sisterly fashion.

"Who's hungry?" Jamie asked, as Joe and Erin sat down on the couch.

"Jamie I can cook." Joe made to get up, but with both hands on his shoulders, Jamie pushed him back down.

"Relax, you have been doing all the cooking, since you got here." Jamie said.

"Jamie, he just came back and you make him cook for you?!" Erin said shocked.

"No it's not like that. He just offered to cook, and I didn't want to be rude and refuse." Jamie explained.

"Er he's not taking advantage of me. I feel like I owe him, because he suffered the most." Joe offered, as his own further explanation.

"It's true, I took care of him and he was a mess. He wouldn't eat and he was refusing to sleep, because he had horrible nightmares about your death. We didn't know what to do with him, but then it started getting better, and he was able to live his life again. Didn't you go to a sleep clinic?" Erin asked.

"I had no choice. After a week straight of no sleep, Dad said I had to, or he was going to forcibly check me into the hospital." Jamie replied recalling the memory.

[Flashback]

The living room was dimly lit and very quiet, save for one person. Jamie was pacing the room in the middle of the night, for the 6th night in a row, when Frank came down to talk to him. "Jamie, son this is the 6th night in a row. You have to get some sleep." Frank said.

Jamie was so antsy and he couldn't stop pacing. Frank reached out and placed both hands on his shoulders, to still him. "Son, you're a mess..." Frank trailed off. "You need sleep." Frank was very concerned for his youngest son.

"I can't Dad... All I see is him, and the dreams get more vivid, and worse each night." Jamie opened up and admitted.

Jamie let a few tears slip and his body was shaking. He was very emotional and he was suffering, and it broke Frank's heart to see him this way. "I know this is hard, but soon things will feel okay again." Frank said, even though he himself had trouble believing that.

"When will it get better? When will my heart stop aching? When will I sleep and not have these haunting nightmares?" Jamie asked.

Jamie feared things would always be like this, never getting better or feeling better again. 'What if things really never change? Would everyone still love me?' Jamie thought.

"I don't know son, but if you don't get some sleep in the next two nights, I am checking you into the hospital." Frank said and gave his son a hug, before returning to bed.

Jamie paced some more, then found himself in the kitchen, making Joe's favorite tea. He sat down with a steaming mug of the tea, and he got to thinking. 'Mom wouldn't be happy, that I am like this, and Joe wouldn't either. He wouldn't want me to be this sick and sleep deprived. I have to fight to get better for both of them, and live my life.' Jamie thought to himself and drank the tea, knowing he would finally get himself back on track.

[End flashback]

"So what did you do?" Joe asked.

"The next day, I checked myself into a sleep clinic and got help." Jamie replied, feeling rather ashamed he had needed one.

"Oh Jamie..." Joe trailed off and reached out to hug him again. "This is all my fault. I made you all have trouble and problems. I should have told them no, I should have refused them." Joe said.

"You had to, you helped save New York City. They might not have been able to do it without you, and then maybe one of us wouldn't be here anymore. What if Danny or Erin had died in the terror plot, and Jack and Sean or Nicky had to grow up without them. You made the right choice, and don't ever let anyone tell you differently." Jamie reassured him.

"Wow you were working on that? That's amazing. I am so proud of you." Erin gushed.

"I am just happy to be back, I can settle down and enjoy life now. Get back to being a cop, and being with my family." Joe said.

"So where will you be living?" Erin asked. She was ready to offer a room in her apartment.

"I am staying with Jamie. He graciously offered me his spare bedroom." Joe replied.

"I'm glad. I think you two will have so much fun living together." Erin was so excited for this news.

"I'm going to cook lunch. I have all the ingredients to make pasta with meat sauce. I hope this is okay with everyone." Jamie said.

"Yes that's perfect." Joe said.

"That sounds wonderful. Do you need me to chop vegetables?" Erin asked.

"Yes you can chop the onion and green pepper." Jamie said and they moved to the kitchen, bar Joe who sat on a stool at the island, and watched them start cooking.

Jamie and Erin cooked like a well oiled machine, having Sunday dinners as practice all these years. Erin diced the onions the way Mom had taught her and Joe noticed. "You... You're doing it the same way as Mom." He noted.

"I guess I have been doing it like this for so long, that I forgot it was the way Mom used to do it." Erin commented.

She finished with the onions and moved on to the pepper. "Can I show you a neat trick?" Joe asked.

Erin, always interested to learn something new, agreed. "Sure."

Joe came around to the kitchen side of the island, and took the pepper. "You cut off the top and the bottom, and then you make a cut length ways into the pepper, on one side. Finally you take your knife and and run it on the inside of the pepper. It removes the seeds and white parts easier." Joe said.

"Wow, that is really neat. Where did you learn that?" Erin asked.

"In my time undercover, this one guy was a professional chef for a few years, before becoming a cop. He taught me a few tricks." Joe replied.

He went back to the stool and continued to watch them cook. Jamie was browning the ground beef in the pan and getting the crushed tomatoes ready. When the meat was browned, he added the other ingredients to the pan. Joe watched him add various spices and herbs to the sauce. The whole kitchen smelled amazing, and he could smell fresh garlic as it was chopped and added by Erin. Everything was coming together and he couldn't help but remember watching their Mom cook in the kitchen.

[Flashback]

Joe was sitting in the kitchen at home, and their Mom was cooking her famous roast chicken and oven vegetables. Joe often liked to watch her cook, because she was very skilled in the kitchen. She made everything with love, and took care, to make sure it was wonderful for everyone.

Today he watched her get the chicken ready, and grab the vegetables from the fridge. "Mom do you need any help?" Joe asked.

"Oh Joseph I would really appreciate that." Mary said, grateful for his offer of aid.

Joe hated when people called him that, but he always had a soft spot for their Mom calling him that. He got to work chopping carrots and potatoes, even chopping some celery and onions. "Joseph chop the onions smaller please." Mary instructed.

"Yes Mom." Joe said and did as he was told.

They worked together and got dinner in the oven in no time. "I love it when you help me. I might not always be around, so please take care of your father and make sure he eats my chicken often, when I am gone." Mary said.

At the time Joe didn't quite understand what she had meant. How could their mother not always be around. 'She seems healthy, maybe she is thinking of her old age. I will always take care of Dad.' Joe thought. "I will Mom and I will make it just like you, so Dad doesn't ever have time to get sad." Joe expressed.

Joe hugged their Mom and smiled, "I will put on some tea, and we can relax until dinner is ready." Mary said.

Joe welcomed this idea and had always loved tea with his Mom. "I have a new tea to try today. Vanilla and cinnamon." Mary commented.

[End Flashback]

Today that tea had become Joe's favorite, and he would always remember the day their Mom had introduced him to it. "Mom..." Joe trailed off in a whisper, as Jamie placed a cup of that very same tea in front of him.

"I know I was thinking about her too." Jamie said. "She taught us so many wonderful things." Jamie commented.

"She was like a superhero, always coming to our rescue." Erin spoke after a minute.

"She always knew when we had a bad day, even if we said nothing about it." Joe noted.

"That is so true. Hey Er, do you think if I helped, we could make Mon's chicken and roasted vegetables for Sunday dinner?" Joe asked.

"That's a great idea. We haven't made it in a while, and Dad says it ever tastes the same. I bet he would love it if you made it, because you know her recipe, exactly the way she made it." Erin replied.

"I just want to see Dad happy again." Jamie said.

"I feel terrible... I was supposed to take care of Dad, I promised Mom. I told her when she wasn't here anymore I would. I feel like I let her down." Joe admitted.

"Mom would be so proud of you and Dad when he finds out what you did, he will be too. Just focus on now and being there for him." Erin said.

"Dad won't be mad, he will be so happy you are alive, that he will forget everything." Jamie reasoned.

"I'm not worried about Dad, actually the person I am most concerned about is Danny. I know how he gets and he hides his feelings, but he will let me have it. He will scream and shout, and get angry, because I left him. I can't imagine his marriage was easy, and he needed me." Joe expressed, feeling like he had abandoned everyone. Left them to their own problems and to fight alone.

"Don't worry about Danny. If he hurts you, I will kick his ass." Erin said and looked at Joe giving him a significant look, that read she meant business.

"I got your back too. I have been handling Danny's comments over sunday dinner and all his crap, for years, so I got you." Jamie offered his support too.

Joe thought a little more, while Erin and Jamie finished coking dinner. "What if I give Grandpa a heart attack?" Joe wondered out loud.

"Been there, done that. He had one like a year and a half ago, and was in the hospital. We had thanksgiving dinner at the hospital with him." Erin replied him.

"Well then what if I give him another one and kill him?" Joe asked.

"He's stronger than that, and the doctor's have him on preventative medicine. He'll be fine, the most he will do is faint. Someone will catch him before he breaks a hip." Jamie replied.

Joe felt relieved to know that Grandpa was okay. He had actually wondered if he was okay, or if he was really sick and not enjoying his old age well. He had always hoped for the first one, and now that he knew, he felt much better.

Dinner was ready 5 minutes later and Jamie served everyone. They all sat at the island, with Joe in the middle. "I'll pray." Joe said, volunteering himself. Joe prayed for lunch and they all tucked in.

"We did good Jamie, this lunch is amazing." Erin praised.

"You are so wonderful. Cooking me lunch. I feel so special." Joe said.

"You are special, and you always will be." Jamie expressed and squeezed his shoulder.

They ate lunch, chatted about the things Joe had missed, while 'underground', and enjoyed each others company. "So I missed Dad almost stepping down as PC?! Why would he ever consider that?" Joe asked, shocked by this news.

"He wasn't happy with how the mayor was running things, and he didn't see eye to eye with him. He wanted to step down, so the mayor could hire someone to be in his pocket." Jamie replied casually.

"Seriously? Dad is the best PC this city has ever had, right after Grandpa. That mayor would be a fool and would never keep the streets as safe, as they are now, without Dad as PC." Joe concluded.

"That is true. I wish we had a better mayor, but we are stuck with him, until something better comes along, or his term ends." Erin said.

"What else did I miss?" Joe asked.

"Nicky is in college. She grew up too fast." Erin said and showed him a current photo from her phone.

"Wow she really is all grown up. She isn't the squirt she was, when I left. Time really flew by, I missed a lot of milestones." Joe realized.

"There are so many more of those, your birthday is coming up soon too. How old will you be anyways?" Jamie asked.

"I'll be 38 this year. I 'died' when I was 31 remember. I just realized I have been gone for 7 years." The realization hit him with such a force of emotion.

"That's a long time, but don't worry there will be plenty of time to make up for it. You have the rest of your life to be with us." Erin reached out and squeezed Joe's hand, as a sign of comfort.

'I have them, and I'm going to be okay. Whatever happens with Danny tomorrow, I know I will be okay.' Joe thought.

The rest of lunch went by pretty quickly, and soon Erin had to get back to a case. It was her day off, but she insisted on working anyways. "Are you sure we can't convince you to stay longer?" Joe asked, hopeful that she would share more stories.

"I guess I could stay a little longer. I have another story to share anyways." Erin said.

They all got comfortable in the living room and Erin started her story.

[Flashback]

Erin was in Frank's office and they were discussing Jamie's undercover op. It was his first one and Erin was really scared, because he was still a new cop. "Dad why couldn't they find someone else?" Erin asked.

"He stumbled on it himself, and then we had no choice. Once he infiltrated the Sanfino crime family, we knew there was no going back." Frank replied grimly.

"I know that, but I just wish it had been some other cop. I don't want it to be Jamie, I never want it to be Jamie or even Danny. I can't..." Erin started but then choked from the emotion.

Losing Joe had done a number on her, and suddenly it was all very real, that it could be Jamie next, she had to say goodbye to. She wasn't prepared for that, hell she wasn't prepared when Joe died either. Frank came over ad gave her a hug and rubbed her back. "It scares me too. I hate that Jamie is so good at undercover work. I wish it wasn't him, but he is the best man for the job." Frank expressed.

"I can't lose another brother." Erin said, tears falling down hear face.

"And I can't lose another son." Frank openly admitted.

They just stood there wrapped in a hug until Baker came in.

[End flashback]

Joe reached out and hugged Erin and just held her. "I had no idea you and Dad felt that way. He never said anything and you were very well kept together. I'm so sorry that I ever made you feel like that." Jamie said.

"I'm sorry too, because you would have never felt that way, if it hadn't been for me." Joe apologetically expressed.

"Stop apologizing. We are all good here." Erin said.

They enjoyed some tea and just relaxed, until Erin really had to leave to finish some work. "So we'll see you on Sunday." Jamie said.

"Yep and I have to get the bread. Also Danny and Linda are getting the dessert." Erin said.

"I'm sure he's thrilled about that. Maybe he will get is from that polish bakery." Joe commented.

"I'm not sure, I think Linda gets to pick this time." Erin said, and hugged both of them before leaving the apartment.


	4. Can we play cops and robbers

Joe wanted things to be like before, kind of like when they used to play cops and robbers. He had soothed Jamie in the middle of the night.

[Flashback]

Joe was sound asleep in his bed, happy to be home and safe, and very much alive. He was glad to be here with Jamie. Jamie was tossing and turning, moaning in his sleep. Joe heard sounds, but he really thought nothing of it until, "Noooo. Not Joe. Please.". Joe heard this and rushed out of bed and into Jamie's room.

When he got to Jamie's room, he saw him thrashing about, tangled in the sheets. Joe went over and shook him awake. "Jamie... Jamie wake up!" Joe said, trying to wake him up.

Jamie struggled and then finally after a few minutes woke up. He saw Joe and reached out, hugging him around the waist, and started to cry. "Don't leave me." Jamie said between hiccups and sobs.

Joe looked down at him and his heart broke. He felt his heart shatter and he knew he had really hurt Jamie bad. 'I did this. I made him have these nightmares, and this fear.' Joe thought. He rubbed Jamie's back and waited for him to settle and calm before asking questions. He looked terrible, Joe felt around for his pulse, and when he checked his wrist he found it to be elevated, mostly likely from a heart wrenching, horrific nightmare. He knew there was trauma, and that he has caused it. Jamie was shaking and he couldn't stop.

Joe had a few ideas about how to soothe him, but he went with the best one a story. "When you were about 4 or 5 years old, you used to have bad nightmares. You would come into my room with your bear Watson and you would ask to sleep with me. I always let you in and would rub your back and help you settle in and fall back asleep." Joe said. Jamie was surprised, that Joe could remember something like this. He was shocked and he felt oddly relieved that Joe was telling him a story. He felt less upset, because he knew that Joe was good at comforting him. He had to admit even if only to himself, that he forgot things, important things about Joe. He felt ashamed about that.

"I was always there for you, until I wasn't. I... I wasn't the source of your nightmares then, but I am now and it kills me." Joe admitted.

Jamie settled down after about 10 minutes, and Joe got curious. "Want to talk about it?" Joe asked.

Jamie nodded no, but Joe said "Talking about it might help."

Jamie thought about it for a moment, before finally speaking. "I saw all the dirty cops, the ones from the warrant squad, and they crowded around you and watched as you bled to death, begging for a bus." Jamie said.

Joe broke and let his own tears fall. "Oh Jamie... I'm so sorry. That must have been so painful, so unbearable to see in your dreams." Joe tried to soothe him, and it seemed to work a little, but Jamie was still shaking.

"I can't..." Jamie made sobbing sounds. "I can't... lose you. I need you Joe. Please don't leave me." Jamie begged and pleaded.

Joe hugged him close and rested his head on top of Jamie's. It was so hard to see him like this, but he knew this was his punishment for leaving. He had to see Jamie like this, so he could understand the extent of the damage he had caused. 'I ruined him, and it could take years to fix this.' Joe thought.

Joe had Jamie's head pressed to his chest and he had his arms wrapped around him, whispering soothing nothings in his ear. He eventually fell asleep in Joe's arms, with Joe maneuvering them into a laying down position, blankets on top of them.

[End flashback]

"Hey Jamie. How are you feeling this morning?" Joe inquired.

He set a cup of tea in front of him and smiled lovingly. "If we're being honest, like crap, but if we are being really really honest, a little better because I have you." Jamie replied.

That answer seemed to satisfy Joe's curiosity for the moment. "I can make some oatmeal. You used to love that with the brown sugar and walnuts. I know Mom's recipe by heart." Joe felt proud, that he could remember something like that all these years.

"That sounds really good. The chopped walnuts are in the freezer, the brown sugar with the tea, and the oatmeal with the cereal."

Jamie listed where everything was located and Joe got to work making Mom's oatmeal. "I bet you haven't had this in years." Joe said.

"I couldn't remember the recipe and at first, it always tasted funny. It was never the right amount of walnuts, or it was too much brown sugar. I gave up trying, because I didn't want to waste the ingredients." Jamie admitted.

Joe busied himself making breakfast on the stove and carefully made sure not burn the oatmeal. When it was all cooked, he added a half cup of chopped walnuts to the big pot of oatmeal and a third cup of brown sugar. He also added the secret ingredient, which was a few small pinches of cinnamon. 'Poor Jamie, he had the recipe right, he just didn't know about the cinnamon.' Joe thought to himself as he stirred the oatmeal until it was blended. "Do you want milk on yours?" Joe asked.

"Just a touch, I don't like when the milk cools it down really fast." Jamie replied.

Joe served the oatmeal and added the milk, before placing it in front of Jamie. Just then the door was pounded on. "Jamie open up." Danny said.

Joe panicked and hid behind the island away from the view of the front door. "Go answer it." Joe said.

Jamie answered the door and Danny came marching in in an angry huff. "Erin said I had to come here for some reason, but she wouldn't tell me. It felt like you two were keeping secrets again." Danny expressed in a frustrated voice.

"That's because they were keeping secrets. My secret to be exact." Joe said from behind the island.

Danny couldn't see him, but he recognized the voice anywhere. "Jamie this isn't funny. Playing a trick on me like this, and getting Erin in on it. Did you guys record Joe and plan to trick me years later. I'm hurt..." Danny trailed off in an angry tone.

Joe popped up and Danny nearly fell over. "Would you like some of Mom's oatmeal?" Joe asked walking into the kitchen.

"No I don't want oatmeal!" Danny started but then amended himself. "Wait did you say Mom's? Alright serve me some, but then I want some explaining." Danny commanded.

Danny was very upset as he sat across from Joe. He didn't understand anything, and nothing was explained yet. This felt like torture, and he couldn't wait until it was over. Danny ate the oatmeal and he almost lost all his anger in that moment. It was just the way Mom made it and he wondered if she was secretly alive too. Danny was smart though and he remembered watching Mom in the hospital. 'How could Joe do this to me. In one breathe he leaves me, and in the next he comes back and makes Mom's oatmeal like it's no big deal. I just don't get him. I want a thorough explanation.' Danny thought internally.

Joe sensed something was wrong, because Danny kept stabbing his spoon into his oatmeal. 'I think I broke him too. Sigh...' Joe thought. "So how is work?" Jamie asked Danny, trying to make small talk, anything to diffuse the growing anger.

"Work is fine. Busy as usual. Caught a big case." Danny replied.

"And how is Maria doing?" Jamie asked.

"What is this kid, 20 questions? Maria is fine, although she recently came down with a cold. She hasn't felt like herself, and she has been drinking all this strange herb tea. I have to order it for her when we are out driving." Danny commented.

'Sounds about right. Danny hasn't really changed, and I waltz back in and he is still the same towards me. He won't even talk to me. I really screwed up.' Joe thought.

"You haven't said a peep." Jamie said to Joe.

"It's always the same. Nothing's changed. He's mad at me and I can't even get my first apology out." Joe was frustrated, that Danny was just taking on a stance of anger, without an explanation.

"You want to get your apology out fine. It won't make a difference, because I will still be mad at you anyways. I wanted an explanation, not your poor ass excuses of apologies." Danny said.

"See you always take that tone with me. You fight with me and then we make up and everything is great for a while, until the next fight." Joe said.

"I don't know if we will make up this time. I'm pretty pissed off at you." Danny admitted.

It killed Jamie to see his brothers like this. He couldn't step in just yet, he had to let Joe explain, before he got in the middle.

Breakfast finished quickly and then the trio of brothers moved to the living room. Jamie sat on the window seat, leaving the only other option the couch. Joe and Danny sat on the couch rather reluctantly. "Explain yourself." Danny was really hurting and Jamie wanted to go hug him, but he was concerned he would be made fun of or teased for it.

"I was undercover." Joe started, but Danny cut him off. "Figures... all the best excuses start off that way." Danny muttered.

"Let him explain." Jamie said in a firm tone, that made Danny freeze up and stop his antics. 'Who knew the kid had it in him.' Danny thought to himself.

"As I was saying, I was in deep undercover work and they had to fake my death. I can tell you what I was doing. It might not make up for anything, but I am hoping you would be proud of me." Joe said.

Danny looked at Jamie and said "Can I speak ref?"

Jamie nodded but added, "Be civil."

"I was always proud of you. When you became a cop after me, I was so proud. When you made the warrant squad, I was proud then too." Danny said.

"I helped stop a terror plot in New York city. It took years to take it down and stop it, but if it had gone through, it would have been like 2001 all over again." Joe noted.

"A terror plot... you helped stop a terror plot. I mean I'm proud of you but..." Danny was fumbling for his words. Jamie said be civil but he felt the anger rising.

"Tell me how you really feel. I want all your raw emotions." Joe expressed.

"You left, you really hurt me. I needed you, and I was struggling as a cop and a father. I needed you and you weren't there." Danny said, feeling angry and frustrated.

"Let it out. Let me have it, I deserve it for leaving you." Joe said.

"I just wanted my brother so bad, and Jamie was still young, and couldn't help me like you. When you died, you left a hole in my heart. Linda tried... Oh gosh she tried so hard to help me through it, and without her and the boys, I would have been so lost." Danny admitted.

"I can't live life over, but I can live now. I want to play cops and robbers, I want to go back to when we were happy, and we always had each others backs. Can we go back there, can you find it in yourself to forgive me?" Joe asked.

"Forgive you, I hate you for what you did. For leaving me, us, all of us." Danny screamed in anger.

Jamie finally stepped in and said "Don't hate him, he had no choice. He came back to us, and he didn't even have to. He could have lived in the world, changed his name, and chosen to remain dead to us. He didn't and all we have is now. So please don't hate him." Jamie pleaded.

Danny was about to tease him, about being emotional when Joe said "Don't you even think about it, he's fragile right now. Save it for later when he is feeling more like himself."

Joe defended Jamie in front of Danny and Danny did something unexpected. He reached out and pulled Joe into a hug. "It's really you, and I get to have you back in my life. As much as I am angry and upset, I would never choose not to have you in my life. I missed you so much, and I want to make up for lost time." Danny said.

"I want to take you out for a couple of beers, I owe you that and so much more." Joe expressed, as Danny let go of him.

"Can we be the brothers three again?" Jamie asked hesitantly.

Danny ruffled his hair and replied "Of course kid. We're brothers for life, always and forever."

The three brothers spent the rest of the morning enjoying each others company, and catching up.


	5. Dad forgive me

Jamie drove them to Sunday dinner, they planned to tell Dad and Grandpa today. Danny had found out on Friday and was still adjusting. He had forgiven Joe and they were on track to repairing their relationship.

Joe however kept thinking about the morning. He had woken up very nervous, and it showed when he drank his tea and his hands kept shaking, while holding his mug. "You're going to be fine. Dad hasn't held a grudge in years, and he won't be too mad. I think he's going to be relieved." Jamie pointed out.

"Relived?! Why the heck would he be relieved?" Joe asked.

"That would be because he has blamed himself for your death, for years. To find out you are alive, he will stop feeling so guilty and he will truly smile again." Jamie replied, explaining things a bit.

"I can't remember what Dad's smile looks like. He lost it when Mom died." Joe noted.

"He was starting to get it back, then you died. Finally he gave up trying, because he figured 'What's the point, if someone else I love will be ripped away from me.'. Also he fears I'm next... I don't know why, Eddie always has my back." Jamie commented.

"Think of it like this... When I 'died' Dad became more protective of the children he had left. You being the youngest, got the most of that protective nature of his. He might tone it down when he finds out I'm alive." Joe explained.

"I sure hope so. Last month I had an accident at work and burned my arm on some hot coffee. Totally normal thing, that could happen to anyone. I show up with a bandage on my arm, and he flew into a panic. Honestly, I love Dad, but Mom wouldn't want him to be like this." Jamie sighed.

"Mom wouldn't have been pleased, with what I put him through either though, if we are being perfectly honest here. I made him really suffer and I deeply wounded him. Mom, if she were still alive, would have probably gave me grief about this, and she would have had every right to." Joe said.

"Oh you know she would have found some way to punish you, then forgive you like I don't know... an hour later. Mom was quick to forgive." Jamie commented.

"I hope he doesn't let me off easy. I wouldn't let me off easy." Joe said.

"You haven't eaten." Jamie noted when he looked down at Joe's full, untouched plate.

"My stomach is spinning." Joe stated plainly.

"You still have to eat. If you won't eat, I'll have to feed you gravol. You always hated when Mom fed you gravol." Jamie said in a firm voice.

"Okay okay, I'll eat something." Joe said and took a bite of his waffles. "Hey, these are really good. Why do they taste like Dad's?" Joe asked.

"Dad's recipe. He made waffles the best and he shared the recipe with all of us after you passed away." Jamie replied.

"Do you think Dad will let me have the recipe?" Joe asked.

"No. He's going to want you come over often, so he can make them for you." Jamie replied.

"I'm missing clothes. A lot of my NYPD gear and my sweater with my shield number on it. Also missing my NYPD rock in roll t-shirts. Those were big when I first started. I'll give you one. I think I have 4 of them." Joe commented.

"Let's not forget jeans. I think the closet is full at Dad's, in your old room. I never had the strength to look in there. I knew my heart would shatter if I did." Jamie said.

"Dad kept my clothes?" Joe was curious about this.

"He didn't have the heart to truly let go. None of us did." Jamie explained.

Joe ate more of his waffles and dove deep into his thoughts. 'I broke Dad too. I really screwed up... Everyone is so damaged by what I did. I can't forgive myself...' Joe was feeling miserable at this point and he just couldn't bring himself to stay awake, after he finished his waffles. "I'm going to have a nap on the window seat." Joe announced and then went and curled up with the blanket and pillow already there.

The drive to Bay Ridge was quiet. Joe had called Angie yesterday and invited her to Sunday dinner. It had been a funny phone call, because she was in the middle of doing laundry and had spilled laundry detergent on her shirt. She had said into the phone "I'll just take it off and wash it." and laughed her beautiful musical laugh. She had happily agreed to come to Sunday dinner and she said she would meet them there.

Jamie had wanted to pep-talk Joe and prepare him some for the scene he was about to enter. "A lot has changed. I mean the house is the same, but they have all changed. Grandpa... oh gosh, he's getting worse." Jamie stated.

"I figured. I'll be lucky if he doesn't have a heart attack after seeing me." Joe commented.

"Give him more credit than that. He's really tough. He might faint." Jamie noted.

"What if Angie shows up before us? She will make everyone wonder what's going on." Joe said.

"Shit, I didn't think about that. I was too fixated on Dad and how he would react, to think about that." Jamie said.

"Will it be okay?" Joe asked.

"Yeah, they will wonder, but they might just think I invited her, because she was visiting. They don't know she moved back to New York." Jamie replied.

"That's clever. I can't believe she gave me a second chance... gave us a second chance." Joe commented.

"When you first... we took care of her. I was with her a lot, eating dinners with her and just helping her. When she moved away and I got that box of stuff from her, I tried to convince her to stay. I told her I could take care of her, that it was what you would have wanted me to do." Jamie said. "She said she had to leave, to find peace somewhere, but then 2 years later she came back. She said she couldn't find peace anywhere, and it was better to be close, so we could grieve together." Jamie finished.

"That sounds like my Angie. She always knew what she wanted and she went for it. I can't wait to see her today. I just want to grab her up into my arms, and kiss her for all she's worth." Joe said.

Jamie sighed. He couldn't be open with Eddie yet. Worst of all if Dad found out he was in so much trouble. 'Mom would have loved her.' Jamie thought to himself.

"I know this is hard. Knowing you can't be public with Eddie yet." Joe said.

"It is, but soon that will all change. We can put in our papers and be together publicly." Jamie said.

Angie arrived before them and it was very confusing. She walked in the back door and saw Erin. "Angie?!" Erin was rather shocked.

"Hey. Joe invited me." She whispered.

"Oh okay. You two back together?" Erin asked.

"You couldn't keep us apart. I love him so much." Angie replied.

Henry walked into the kitchen and spotted Angie talking with Erin. "Hello Angie. What brings you over?" Henry asked.

"Jamie invited me. I'm in town and he thought I should have one of your amazing dinners, before going back to Seattle." Angie nervously lied.

"Jamie is very thoughtful. I'll set an extra spot at the table for you." Henry said and left the kitchen.

"Oh my gosh. I thought he was going to see right through my lie." Angie said.

"Lately he hasn't felt like himself, so he only has himself to blame. He doesn't know yet, and I know it will shock him, Dad too." Erin said, referencing what was to come.

Back in the car, Jamie and Joe were just arriving and Danny had gotten there 5 minutes ago with the boys. "Remember you go to the front door and I'll go upstairs and get your NYPD hoodie." Jamie said.

"You sure this will work?" Joe asked.

"Yes. I have everyone inside busy so Dad has no choice but to answer the door. I'll come down the front stairs and catch Grandpa." Jamie replied.

Carefully executed, this plan would work, and it did. Jamie went in the back door, waved to everyone and ran upstairs. He rummaged around in Joe's closet until he found the sweater. Then he hit a hitch. Nicky came into Joe's room and asked "What are you doing with Uncle Joe's sweater?"

"I'm having a bad day, and I was going to wear it. I wanted some comfort." Jamie lied.

"Aww Uncle Jamie, you can always ask me for a hug, when you are having a bad day." Nicky said and gave him a big hug.

Jamie felt so bad about lying to her as he hugged her back. Nicky let him go, and left the room. Jamie was about to leave, when he decided to throw on one of Joe's t-shirts. He grabbed this grey rock and roll splash pattern NYPD t-shirt and swapped it for his current blue t-shirt. 'I have to get into position. Joe will be ringing the doorbell right about now.' Jamie thought internally.

Jamie raced down the hall and got to the middle of the stairs hidden from view and watched the scene unfold.

The doorbell rang and Frank answered it along with Grandpa. Everything happened in a rapid pace. Jamie ran down the stairs, just as Grandpa caught sight of Joe, and started to fall from fainting. He caught Grandpa, before he got hurt. Frank was speechless, completely and utterly speechless. He stood there, as he stared into the eyes of his once thought dead son. "Hi Dad." Joe said.

Joe felt awful for Grandpa fainting, and he felt awful his own Dad couldn't say anything. When Frank finally found his voice it was rather cracked and strange sounding. "Son?! Joe is that really you?" Frank feared this was a horrible trick, and wasn't prepared for what would happen to him if it was.

"It's me Dad. I'm alive." Joe then reached out and gave his Dad a big hug.

Frank was startled, but surrendered to the hug and held his son. It was warm, and it was the kind of hug you gave a person, after they came back from war. The kind of hug that said "I love you" and "Never leave again.". Jamie had placed Grandpa on the couch, and he was now laying down recovering.

Grandpa started to stir a few minutes later, and said to Jamie "I thought I saw Joe."

"You did see Joe. He's here for dinner." Jamie said.

"Oh I thought I was going crazy... What?! Joe's alive?" Grandpa then looked over the back of the couch, and saw Frank hugging him.

"I thought it was crazy too Grandpa." Jamie said.

Frank and Joe released each other and Frank said "Let me get a good look at you."

Joe just stood still while Frank examined him. "You are definitely my son. Same scars and same everything. But let me check something. What year was Mary Diagnosed with cancer?" Frank asked.

Joe whispered the answer into his ear and Frank nodded. "I'm so sorry. Dad forgive me." Joe said.

Jamie stepped in and handed Joe his sweater. "It's retired." Frank said pointing to his shield number. "I could never be mad at you. No matter what the reason, you are my son and I love you." Frank said.

"Can I have the same number?" Joe asked.

"I'm sure we can arrange something. I know the PC." Frank replied.

Jamie chuckled at their Dad's comment. 'I missed Dad's humor.' Joe thought.

"Joseph Connor Reagan..." Grandpa said in a mock angry voice.

Joe prepared for the worst, but when nothing of the sort came, he sighed with relief. "I'm not mad either, just really confused. I'm so glad you're alive though." Grandpa said.

Nicky and the boys heard Grandpa shout Uncle Joe's name and ran in from the kitchen. "Uncle Joe?" Nicky was so confused and the boys were no better.

"Yeah it's me. Dad can I tell them?" Frank nodded and Joe told them everything. Frank was very proud by the end of the story and s was Grandpa. The younger Reagans were also very amazed too.

Linda came in from the kitchen and said "Joe it's good to finally see you. Danny told me and I was so shocked. You look good." She gave him a hug and he hugged her back.

"I'm so sorry to all of you. I hurt everyone in this house, and I know I will spend a long time trying to make it up to all of you, but I love you all. You are the best family anyone could ask for. Thank you." Joe expressed and wiped his eyes.

Jamie reached out and hugged Joe and smiled. "I'm glad you're back." Jamie said.

Joe ruffled his hair and said "Me too. I feel so much better now."

Nicky came over, hugged Joe and started crying. "Uncle Joe... I missed you for so long. It hurt so bad when Mom told me you died." She made some sniffling noises and then "Please don't leave us again.".

"I promise I won't until I'm an old man." Joe said and gave her a right squeeze before letting her go.

Joe kissed Nicky on the forehead and she smiled. "I love you Uncle Joe.

"I love you too kiddo." Joe said.

Everyone seemed to be doing great, and then Angie walked into the room. She was in the kitchen preparing salad, when she heard crying. She came out to investigate, when Joe laid eyes on her. He walked over to her and took her in his arms and twirled her around. "There's my best girl." Joe said and gave her a quick kiss.

Frank was a little shocked, but not entirely surprised that the two had found each other again. He had always liked Angie, and in many ways she was similar to his Mary. He wanted nothing but happiness for his son. "I love you." Angie whispered.

"I love you too sweetheart." Joe whispered back. He laced their fingers and smiled at her.

"Who's for some dinner?" Grandpa asked.

Everyone in the room piped up at the same time, agreeing that eating dinner was a great idea.

They moved to the dining room, where Linda and Erin had set up all the food. Jamie went to the kitchen and grabbed another place setting for Joe. They all sat down, with Joe next to Jamie, and Angie on the end next to Joe. "I would like to say grace." Joe spoke up. No one objected so Frank nodded at him to go ahead. "Bless us oh lord for these thy gifts..."

Dinner was underway, and the conversations were flying around. "So you're not visiting from Seattle?" Grandpa asked Angie.

"No, I had to say that to cover for Joe." Angie said. "I live in the city, in upper Manhattan." She said.

"Oh how long have you lived in Manhattan?" Erin asked.

"A few years now. I moved back to be close to Jamie. He was still having a hard time, and I wanted to be there for him." Angie replied.

"I didn't always see his pain. I was too focused on his physical safety, to notice his emotional side effects." Frank openly and shamefully admitted.

"It's okay Dad. We move on from here and we will be fine." Jamie said and sent a smile to their Dad.

Dinner went on in the usual fashion and they all enjoyed each others company. It felt like finally things would be normal again.


	6. Spend forever with me

It was finally the day. Joe had invited Angie out to dinner for this evening, and he was so excited. He had visited his safety deposit box, earlier in the week, after proving he was indeed alive and well. He only took out two things. The first being a beautiful Celtic men's ring on a chain, he used to wear all the time, and the second an engagement ring. He had purchased it many years ago, for Angie and planned to finally use it. "Morning Jamie. You better hurry or you will be late for work with Officer Janko." Joe teased.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going. I'll be back before you leave for your date." Jamie said as he grabbed his coat and put it on.

"Have a great tour. Dad said he was making the arrangements for me to start at the 12th soon." Joe said.

Jamie gave him a quick hug and said "That's great news. I can't wait to see you at the house." before leaving the apartment and driving off to work.

Jamie drove to work and when he got into the precinct, he met Eddie. She was smiling and she whispered "Hello darling."

It threw Jamie off guard and he whispered "Oh hello sweetheart." before he walked into the men's locker room.

'What was that? Crap we totally sound like a couple. Better tone it down.' Jamie thought as he got changed.

Jamie quickly changed and waited patiently outside the women's locker room for Eddie. Kara walked out and stopped when she noticed it was Jamie waiting. "She's struggling with her hair. I tried to help her, but she shooed me away. Anyways congrats." Kara said with a knowing smile.

"Oh err... thanks. Tell Regetti to take good care of you." Jamie said, and she nodded and walked off.

5 minutes later Eddie came out with her hair in a wavy ponytail. "Isn't that how you had your hair when you came in?" Jamie asked.

"Ugh... I can't get it to work for me today." Eddie let out a frustrated sigh.

"Sit on that bench and give me a few minutes and I will fix it. If we are chasing someone and they pull your hair it could end badly for you." Jamie said in a concerned voice.

Eddie sat down and Jamie took her elastic out. He quickly braided her hair, and then spiraled it into a bun, before putting the elastic in place. "There. Now I won't worry about you all tour." Jamie said as he stared at her hair.

"Thanks Jamie." Eddie said, grateful to have such a resourceful partner.

The pair got their radios and then went off to start their tour.

Back at the apartment, Joe was making a pot of his favorite tea and a bagel, when he thought about Angie. 'I should text her and wish her a wonderful day at work.' Joe thought.

He grabbed his iPhone and sent a text message to her. "Good morning Angie sweetheart. I hope you are having a wonderful morning."

"Good morning Joe. My morning is going great."

"Are you on your way to work? I wanted to wish you a wonderful day at work."

"Aww thank you sweetie. I'm just on my way to my counseling appointments, with the ladies at the women's shelter."

"You are such a kind person. You really care about others. That's why I love you so much, because of your big heart."

"I love you, because you always fight for what you feel is right. I have to go now, I arrived at my stop and have to get off the metro. See you tonight. 3"

"See you tonight sweetheart. Stay safe."

Joe smiled as he finished texting her and sat down to drink his cup of tea. He enjoyed the quiet of the apartment, but he was looking forward to going back to work as a cop. He loved the thrill of catching the bad guy, but when he was in the warrant squad, he had missed being a detective. Finally he was going to be a detective again like Danny. He knew he would probably get grilled by Danny, but he was ready for anything his older brother threw at him.

Joe did some cleaning around the apartment all morning, then he went out and did some shopping in Chinatown. He got a bunch of fresh vegetables and some nice steak, deciding to cook dinner for Jamie. He then texted Jamie and said "Invite Officer Janko to dinner at the apartment tonight. I'm cooking for you guys. Call it a date on me."

"What?! Joe no." Jamie texted him back.

"Invite her, or I will tell Dad you're dating your partner." Joe texted.

"Okay. I'll invite her, please don't tell Dad." Jamie texted.

"I wasn't going to, I just really want you to have a nice dinner with her." Joe texted.

"Okay I have to get back to work. Thanks Joe. Eddie says yes by the way. I just asked her." Jamie texted.

"Great. Dinner should be ready by the time you finish shift, and it won't take you two long to get here." Joe texted.

"Thanks. Great. Getting back to work now. Love you." Jamie texted.

"Love you too." Joe texted back, before he went to pay for all the groceries.

Back on patrol, "Sorry about that. Joe wanted to cook us dinner." Jamie said.

"That's okay. I love to eat, and I'm excited to try his cooking anyways." Eddie said.

"He's a great cook. He's a better cop though." Jamie commented.

"I bet he is." Eddie said. "Do you think when he works with us, we will help him, like we help Danny?" Eddie asked.

"Probably. I mean that makes sense. I think even more than Danny, because he would be from our house." Jamie reasoned in reply.

They continued to walk down the street, patrolling the area and watching for signs of trouble.

Joe had just gotten back to the apartment and inside, when the phone rang. "Hello?" Joe answered.

"Joe it's me Erin. I need a favor. I can't pick up a dessert for Sunday dinner this week, and I was wondering if maybe you could bake something." Erin replied.

"I can bake something. Busy week?" Joe asked.

"You have no idea. Speaking of which my next appointment is here. Gotta go. Love you." Erin said.

"Love you too Er." Joe said, before hanging up the phone.

Joe put away the food and got himself a glass of water, before deciding to have an afternoon nap. 'You earned it. You cleaned and bought groceries.' Joe thought.

Joe drank the water, then set an alarm on his phone, before crashing out on the window seat.

3 hours later, Joe's alarm went off and he woke up. He had a big stretch, followed by a big yawn, and it was quite the sight. He was really tall, and when he laid down on the window seat, he could almost touch end to end. He had a bit of space to play around with, but not much. Jamie had laughed the other day about that. Joe had found it rather humorous too. 'Time to cook dinner for the lovely couple.' Joe thought as he migrated to the kitchen.

Joe pulled out the various vegetables, and the steak and started prepping them. He washed the vegetables, the proceeded to chop them into smaller pieces. He then sliced the steak into thin strips, and made a quick asian stir fry sauce. He got the water and rice going in a covered pot and left it to cook, setting a timer, so it didn't burn. He fried the steak first and cooked it through, before adding the vegetables. He added each vegetable in according to cooking time.

When the stir fry was almost ready, he added the sauce he had made from scratch and mixed everything in the pan. He turned it off and covered it to keep it warm. 'Now to wait for the rice to finish.' Joe thought as he warmed up some tea.

A little while later Jamie and Eddie walked in the door to find dinner prepared and Joe all ready to leave for his date. "Tonight's the night Jam. I'm so nervous." Joe said.

"Okay pep talk time." Jamie said and grabbed Joe's shoulders. "Look at me." Jamie insisted and Joe did. "You got this. This isn't just anyone, this is Angie. The woman you have loved for years, and she is so going to say yes. You and I both know she wants to marry you, and we would both be fooling ourselves, if we believed any differently." Jamie finished.

"Thanks bro. You always know just what to say. Well I'm off, enjoy your date. Listen... not that it's any of my business, but you should really consider telling Dad soon. It's better if it comes from you." Joe said and with that he walked out the door.

"What if your Dad doesn't like me?" Eddie suddenly voiced.

"Oh nonsense. Dad already likes you." Jamie replied.

"Yeah as a cop and your partner. What if he doesn't feel I'm the right fit for his youngest son?" Eddie was genuinely concerned about this, and looking for Jamie to convince her it wasn't an issue.

"Sweetheart, you know he likes you a lot. Just give things a chance okay. I promise you are the right fit for me, and Dad will see it too. You are very... wonderful." Jamie reassured her.

"If you say so. Come on let's eat before the food gets cold." Eddie said getting all excited for dinner.

"There's the Eddie I love. Passionate about filling her stomach." Jamie commented in a teasing fashion.

"Hey! I happen to love food a lot. I just happen to love you more." Eddie said.

"Good save." Jamie said, as he dished out the food into bowls.

Elsewhere in the city Angie was waiting at Lidia's. It was this Italian restaurant owned and operated by a woman straight from Italy. Joe and Angie had fallen in love with the food there, the first time around. Joe made a reservation, seeing it as a fitting place to propose. Joe walked in and saw Angie sitting, waiting for him. "Table for two. Joe Reagan." Joe said to the hostess.

The hostess showed them to their table and gave them menus. "The waitress will be along in a few minutes. The kitchen is good tonight, so there won't be a long wait for your food." The hostess said, before walking back to the entrance.

They viewed the menus, while thinking about being with each other.

Back at the apartment, "Jamie that's hilarious. Kara said you always make her laugh when you guys ride together. She said one time you almost made her hit someone's bumper." Eddie said,

"Yeah I remember that. We were at a red light and suddenly she burst out laughing, from my joke, then she accidentally hit the gas and almost hit the person in front of us' bumper." Jamie explained.

"If you ever did that, on the off chance I was driving, I would withhold kisses, until you could make it up to me." Eddie said.

"Well we won't be having too many more of those. We have to put in our papers soon. Joe's right... if someone catches us and tells my Dad, we could face serious consequences." Jamie said.

Eddie was saddened to hear this, but perked up when she realized she could come home to Jamie, and have him all to herself at night. "Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. I can see about switching with Kara. I'll take Regetti and she can have you. I trust her with you, and not just because she's married, but because she really protects you and has your back." Eddie commented.

"That could actually work. We need to discuss this with them, and see if they are okay with it." Jamie suggested.

The waitress had arrived, Joe and Angie ready to order, handed her the menus. "I'll have the pasta with mussels in the red sauce. Angie?" Joe said.

"I'll have the chicken parmigiana. Thank you." Angie said to the waitress.

"Anything to drink tonight?" The waitress asked.

Joe wanted to order champagne, but didn't want to give it away. He looked at Angie, before he replied "Two glasses of red wine please."

"I'll be right back with those." The waitress said.

5 minutes later she came back with the wine and served it to the couple. Joe smiled and grabbed Angie's hands in his own. "I love you. You're incredible." Joe said.

"I love you too. You're incredible too. I can't wait for you to get back out there and change the city again as a cop. I'm so proud of you." Angie said.

Jamie and Eddie had finished their dinner, and were now under the comforter on the window seat, kissing and cuddling. She had an arm around his neck pulling him closer, and he had an arm loosely draped around her waist. She smiled into the kiss, before releasing a giggle. It vibrated on his lips and tickled him. "I'm pretty sure that was the oddest sensation, I have ever experienced so far." Jamie concluded.

"Hmm me too." Eddie added.

They laid in each others arms, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other. It was a beautiful sight, and anyone who saw it would have melted on the spot. Eddie smiled and gave Jamie's lips little kisses. "I love you." She said, between little kisses.

"I love you too." He said back.

Back at the restaurant, their food had arrived, and Joe and Angie were excited to eat the food. "It all looks so delicious. Do you want some of my chicken?" Angie asked.

"Sure. Do you want some of my mussels?" Joe replied in question.

"That sounds perfect." Angie said.

The pair exchanged a bit of their meals with each other, then started eating. Joe was still a little nervous, until he remembered Jamie's pep talk. He reached into his pocket and fingered the box. 'I can't believe I'm going to ask her. I really hope Jamie is right and that she does say yes.' Joe thought internally.

"Are you okay? You seem like you are thinking about something." Angie noted.

"I am thinking about something. It's very important. How's your dinner? I think the mussels are great tonight. The pasta is perfect." Joe said, trying to get her off the subject, at least for a little while.

"The food is amazing. I love everything, and I'm glad you thought to come here. I really appreciate all you do. You are so sweet." Angie said.

The pair finished their meals and ordered dessert. Tiramisu to share, and some decaf Italian coffee. As they waited for dessert and coffee to arrive, Joe thought 'It's now or never.' and pulled out the ring box. He got down on one knee by her chair and said "Angela Elizabeth Williams we've been together a long time, and we just recently found each other again. I want to spend forever with you, and I want to ask you to do that. Will you marry me?"

Joe's heart was racing, as he awaited her answer. Angie was in shock, as she stared at the ring and then back at Joe. "Oh Joe... Yes. I want to spend forever with you too." Angie said and accepted the ring.

Joe slipped it on her finger and she kissed him. People around them clapped and the waitress said "Dessert and coffee is on us. Congratulations." before walking away.

Angie looked down at the ring and smiled when she looked at Joe. "Thank you for making me the happiest man alive." Joe said.

"Thank you in return for making me very happy as well." Angie said.

When Joe returned home, he was so excited. He couldn't wait to tell Jamie. He walked into the apartment and said "Jamie..." then stopped. He looked at the window seat and there sound asleep were his brother and his girlfriend, all comfortable in each others arms, under the comforter. 'I can tell him tomorrow.' Joe thought before going to bed.


	7. Fight fight fight Make-up?

The smell of coffee wafted into the living room, and Eddie was roused from her sleep. "Mmm... coffee." Eddie mumbled.

"Coffee... there's coffee?" Jamie mumbled back.

"Yes there's coffee for everyone and breakfast too." Joe said.

"Jamie he saw us and he saw me. He's going to tell your dad." Eddie whispered in a panicked voice.

"I can still hear you Eddie. I won't be telling Dad. That's on you, now come have breakfast before it gets cold." Joe said.

Jamie and Eddie sat down at the table, and waited for coffee and breakfast to be placed in front of them. "How long were you awake?" Jamie asked Joe.

"About long enough to figure out you need to call Dad, and tell him today. This is ridiculous... You're clearly serious about each other, and I know you both have a tour tomorrow." Joe said.

"Maybe you should call Dad and tell him you're engaged." Jamie countered.

"What and provide you a cushion? Not happening. You call him and tell him, my news can wait." Joe insisted.

"Do I have to be here when you tell him?" Eddie asked, as she took a bite of her toast.

"Well you are my girlfriend so yes. We can um... tell him together." Jamie replied.

"Bad idea. Dad gets funny about things like that. Jamie stop hiding behind people and be a man." Joe said.

"Sure thing Boss." Jamie said and mock saluted Joe.

"Eat your breakfast." Joe said in a firm tone.

If there was one thing Jamie had learned about Joe, it was that you didn't mess with him, and when he told you to do something you did it, no questions asked. Jamie was having a hard time doing this however and he really wanted out. He wasn't ready to have this conversation with his Dad and he knew the longer he waited, the more pissed off and angry their Dad would be. He would also be less accommodating and forgiving.

They ate breakfast in silence, save for the looks Jamie and Eddie kept sending each other. "I forgot... my brother and his girlfriend can communicate with their eyes." Joe muttered.

"I don't understand what the problem is here." Jamie said.

"The problem is, that you know what you are doing is wrong. I would've never done something like this and you know Danny wouldn't have either. Honestly Jamie... she's a lovely woman, don't get me wrong, but she's your partner. You should have put in a request for new partners long before now, and you know it. Instead you swept it under the rug, like you do with most issues." Joe explained.

"I'm sorry we can't all be the perfect middle child." Jamie countered.

"Seriously... Guys settle down." Eddie said and placed her hands between them. "I'm just as much to blame for this as he is. Let me explain." Eddie said.

Joe gave a sigh and then proceeded to let her speak her mind. "Thank you. A year and a half ago we went out for drinks with Spencer and my friend Hailey, and at the end of the night Jamie walked me home and we kissed. The next morning we called it a mistake, something that was just bound to happen and we got it out of our systems. Only we knew we were just fooling ourselves. We tortured each other, by dating other people and staying partners, when we both knew we were made for each other. Now we realize that after that kiss, we should have filed papers. Even off duty, kissing was wrong and shameful of us. We will spend forever, trying to make up for all of this, and we will take whatever punishment commissioner Reagan dishes out to us. We made our mistake and while you frown upon it, shouldn't you be more excited that Jamie found love." Eddie said.

"Oh I am. Compared to Sydney, you are sunshine and roses and everything else delightful. He really stepped up." Joe said. "I'm just upset at him for not doing something sooner."

"We can't all make our move right away like Mr. perfect. Seriously can you hear yourself? You sound like the poster child for the perfect man. Can you do anything wrong? Are you even capable of doing something wrong?" Jamie was furious at Joe and his patience was wearing thin.

"I wonder if I should call Danny for back-up..." Eddie mumbled.

"Leave him out of this." Both men said at the same time.

"Oh finally something we both agree upon." Joe said.

"Don't speak to Eddie in that tone." Jamie said.

"You just did. Honestly... Eddie I'm sorry. Better Jamie?" Joe inquired, in a rather sarcastic tone.

"I can't believe you are behaving like this. A grown man yelling at his brother about his life choices. Just because I don't live my life like you Saint Joseph, doesn't mean my life is not good." Jamie said.

"Saint... oh that's rich. I'm not that high and mighty. Seriously go look in a mirror, you might see regret." Joe hollered.

"Regret... Isn't that what you have for leaving us?" Jamie sliced through the air with a knife and Joe fell silent.

"Jamie you went too far." Eddie said and gave him a stern look.

"Too far... he's... he's... I'm so mad at him. Don't defend him. He's the one saying we shouldn't be dating while we're still partners." Jamie reminded her.

"Yeah but..." Eddie was cut off.

"Just listen to him. He seems to always know what's best for himself anyways. Got it all figured out and he doesn't care what happens to himself. I'm out of here and I'm taking my book with me." Joe huffed and left to go simmer in his room.

"Men..." Eddie trailed off with a sigh, picking up her iPod and turning it on.

Jamie looked over at Eddie and noticed she had already turned her music on. "Oh fine. Tune me out." Jamie said in a frustrated tone.

"Don't you start with me mister. Now call your Dad or else." Eddie said in a firm tone.

Jamie grumbled and picked up the phone, dialing his Dad's cell phone number.

Jamie waited all of two rings, before Frank answered the phone. "I wasn't aware we had a meeting. Is something wrong Jamie?" Frank asked.

"This is official business. I need the commissioner for this one." Jamie replied.

"Very well. What can I do for you officer Reagan?" Frank asked.

"You can start by hearing me out completely before getting mad." Jamie replied.

"I already don't like the sound of this, but I can agree to that." Frank said.

"Where do I start... Well I guess I should tell you I have feelings for my partner and they have progressed to a relationship. I broke protocol and a million rules and I'm just praying at the end of the day, that the Commissioner/ my Dad won't be too mad at me and will forgive me for my terrible choices." Jamie said.

"Jamie... How can you tell me all of that and expect me not to be mad. You broke protocol." Frank said.

"Yeah, but I love her. I really love this woman." Jamie defended.

"I know and while I think that's great, you still broke the rules. I have to suspend you both. Can't have anyone accusing me of favoritism." Frank said.

"I'll take the punishment. I don't care, because I love her and I want to be with her." Jamie shouted.

"I didn't raise you like this and furthermore your mother didn't either. We taught you to follow the rules and to obey them. You broke the rules, and now you will be punished for it. I will see you on Sunday for dinner, but I want you to know, that I am very disappointed in you as both your father and as the commissioner." Frank said in an angry tone.

"So what should I tell Eddie? " Jamie asked.

"Tell her to expect a phone call from me. And that she's suspended. Goodbye Officer." Frank replied before hanging up.

Jamie put down his phone and sighed in frustration. Eddie picked up on this, but thought it was from the fight with Joe. "So how long until Joe speaks to you again?" Eddie asked.

"You're kidding right? When Irish men fight, they don't talk for days afterwards. Haven't you learned anything from watching me and Danny... I'm always gruff with him after we've fought." Jamie replied.

"Oh so that's what that is. I thought you were just constipated." Eddie said with a chuckle.

"So not funny. Do you want lunch?" Jamie asked.

"Yes. I don't want to get in the middle of this, so if it gets too uncomfortable, you can expect me to make an exit." Eddie replied, giving Jamie a serious expression.

"Fair enough. Our problems are not your problem. Me and him need to sort things out." Jamie reasoned.

"He'll come around. He loves you, you know that." Eddie said as they went into the kitchen.

Jamie grabbed ingredients to make sandwiches and started preparing three. Remembering exactly what both Eddie and Joe liked on their sandwiches, he prepared them to their liking. "Can you place this outside his door. I don't want him to not have lunch, just because we fought." Jamie said.

"Why did you make him a sandwich? I thought you were mad at him." Eddie said.

"Quick story. Joe used to always go read a book in his room at Dad's, when he got mad, and he wouldn't eat. So even if I was fighting with him, I always made him food, and so did everyone else. We had this rule. Even if we are fighting no one goes hungry." Jamie explained.

"That makes sense. That's a really good rule. Does that apply to us?" Eddie asked hesitantly.

"You bet it does. I could never let you go hungry, because you would be even more mad at me, if I let you starve." Jamie said with a chuckle. "Now please go give him that sandwich." Jamie instructed.

Eddie walked over and knocked on the door, "Joe I have a sandwich for you. Just the way you like it." she said.

Joe opened the door and looked at the sandwich, then at Jamie and said "Thanks." rather roughly, before grabbing the sandwich and closing the door.

"That felt painful. I could feel the anger radiate off him, and I can feel it radiating off of you. Honestly... I wish you two didn't have to fight like this. I feel bad." Eddie said.

"Well that's what we do sometimes. We fight, don't speak to each other for a few days, then we make up and drink beers and pretend it never happened. At least me and Danny do. I haven't fought with Joe since before he left us. I don't know how to fix this and I know Danny won't be any help." Jamie said.

"How do you know that? How do you know Danny hasn't got some great advice up his sleeve waiting for you. Call him. If not today, then tomorrow. You have to fix things with Joe or it will get pretty tense around here, and I won't want to visit you." Eddie said.

"You sure are insistent. Okay, if things aren't better by tomorrow afternoon, I'll call Danny and ask him for advice." Jamie said.

A while later, "I forgot to ask, how did your phone call go?" Eddie asked.

Jamie gave her this mean glare as a response.

"That bad huh. Tell me about it." Eddie insisted.

"If you must know, Dad is really pissed at me and says I'm suspended. He wants to make an example of me, so he doesn't get accused of favoritism. As if anyone would ever accuse him of that. He never even gives us anything." Jamie said.

"That's not true and you know it. He cares about you a lot, he gives you a lot." Eddie said.

"You wouldn't be defending the man, if you knew what he was doing to you." Jamie said.

"And just what is he doing to me exactly?" Eddie asked.

"He's suspending you as well. Also you should expect a call from him and a big lecture. He will no doubt say something like "How dare you drag my son into such illegal behaviors" or something similar." Jamie replied.

"Ha. I knew this was coming. I'm totally prepared for anything that happens." Eddie said confidently.

"Yeah? Well are you prepared for when he decides, that we can't work in the same precinct. Dad has the right as the commissioner to decide that. He can separate us." Jamie said.

"I'd like to see him try. And so what if he does, we can still date. He can't control your personal life Jamie, just your work life." Eddie said.

"You always say just the right thing, to make me feel better." Jamie said.

"Someone has to, or you would just be a mess." Eddie soothed.

Joe came out and for a brief moment he was concerned. "How did the phone call go?" Joe asked.

"So you're speaking to me." Jamie replied.

"For the moment. Phone call?" Joe asked again, getting a little irritated.

"Bad. Dad suspended us and if he is feeling extra evil, he might even make us work at different precincts." Jamie replied.

"Well are you really that surprised. This is Dad, and I bet he gave you the whole "We didn't raise you like this" speech. He saves that for the really big mistakes. Did he drag Mom into it too?" Joe asked.

"Yeah... Hey wait how do you know all of this?" Jamie countered in reply.

"I got that speech just after joining the NYPD. I did something really wrong. Look I don't have time for this. Just suck it up and be happy it's just a suspension." Joe said, as he grabbed the tea he had poured and went back to his room.

"Well that was helpful. If he was so concerned... He's happy. I bet he's laughing because I got suspended for breaking the rules. Mr. perfect cop, who can do no wrong." Jamie said.

"I'm not perfect, I just think Dad was right." Joe said, before closing his door.

"I bet Danny would be on my case about this too. See this is why I can't stand my family sometimes." Jamie gave out a frustrated sigh.

"Look I should go. I've already caused enough trouble. Next your sister will have something to say, and I want her to still like me when this blows over." Eddie said.

"Don't go... not because of my fight. That's a stupid reason to leave. I need you." Jamie expressed.

"Yeah and I need you to fix things with Joe. This is not something I like to see. I don't want things to get so bad you end up not living together. Remember, you're lucky he's back and wants to live with you. He didn't have to come back." Eddie said, unknowingly echoing his earlier words to Danny.

That hit Jamie in the right place, because he hugged Eddie and said "What am I going to do? I screwed up with my Dad and Joe, and I don't even know what to do anymore."

Admittedly it was rather pathetic, a man of his age not knowing how to fix things with his own brother. When you think about it, his brother had been away for so long, that it seemed like he was learning everything all over again. "I have an idea." Eddie said.

She scribbled a note for Joe just in case, and then grabbed hers and Jamie's coats, before dragging him out of the apartment. "Well at least let me lock the door." Jamie said and did just that.

Eddie took his hand and they walked down the street. "Where are you taking me?" Jamie asked.

"Surprise." Eddie said with a slight giggle.

Jamie was well and truly surprised, when they arrived at the polish deli down the block. "Oh so this is your plan." Jamie said.

"I figured that if you couldn't come up with something on your own, I could help you. Look the man loves his tea, so just get him a couple of boxes, and when you finally manage to fix things, it can be an apology present." Eddie explained. "Also I wanted some cabbage rolls and they make them really good here." Eddie said.

"Get a bunch, and we can cook sausage and have that for dinner, before you go home." Jamie said.

"Will do." Eddie said, before going over to the counter.

While Eddie got some uncooked sausages and cabbage rolls, Jamie browsed the tea section. "Is there anything I can help you with?" A teenaged girl asked.

"I'm not sure. See I kinda got into a fight and the person really likes tea. Which tea says I'm sorry the most?" Jamie replied.

"Well I'm not sure any tea really says I'm sorry, but we did just get in some blackberry tea this morning. I say you buy that and a few other kinds, and you should be fine. Listen... Fights happen, but if the person really loves you and you them, then it will be fine." The girl said.

"Thank-you. That means a lot." Jamie said to her.

He picked a box of blackberry out and some strawberry tea as well. He also got a box of vanilla cinnamon, which happened to be Joe's favorite and went to the cash, where Eddie was already waiting. "Did I keep you?" Jamie asked.

"No, I just finished at the counter." Eddie replied.

Jamie paid for everything and they walked back to the apartment.

When they got back to the apartment, Joe was looking up something on the desktop computer. "Are sausages and cabbage rolls good for dinner?" Eddie asked.

"Yes. That's fine." Joe replied.

"You seem busy." Eddie said, as Jamie started getting the food ready.

"I'm just looking up some stuff." Joe said.

Eddie came around and looked at the screen. Joe was looking up things Jamie loved. "Are you trying to get him an apology gift?" Eddie whispered in Joe's ear.

"Yes. I feel crummy. If things aren't fixed by tomorrow, I might have to call Danny." Joe whispered back.

Eddie smiled, because Jamie was thinking the exact same thing. Both brothers had wanted to patch things up and maybe tomorrow they would. The idea, that they had both thought of apology gifts, was rather fitting. Eddie was so happy, to see them both wanting to work things out.

In the kitchen Jamie was frying the sausages and he had the cabbage rolls heating up in the oven. He was happy with his gift choice for Joe, and he knew he could fix things, if he really worked hard. Jamie wanted to make a nice dinner, one that everyone would love, so there wouldn't be anymore fighting. The last thing anyone needed was a fight over his cooking. He finished cooking the sausages and set them aside on a plate, covering them to keep them warm. "Dinner is almost ready." he announced.

Eddie looked up from the computer and flashed him a smile. "Thanks lambchop." Eddie said, before looking down again. "That one. I think you can get it in chinatown too." Eddie whispered, as she pointed to something on the screen.

"Thank you. You've been a big help. I'm really sorry that I was harsh with you. I think the way my brother went about this is wrong, but I'm glad he chose you. You are an incredible woman Eddie, and I know our mother would have loved you." Joe whispered to her.

"Thank you, that means a lot. You know I think since you've been back, he looks up to you and he looks for your approval. It's no secret that you're his favorite sibling." Eddie whispered.

"I know, so fighting with him hurts the most." Joe whispered.

Jamie got dinner on the table and called them both over. "Can we all just promise to be civil over dinner?" Eddie asked.

"I will if he will." Jamie replied.

"I can be civil for the moment." Joe said.

"Good, now let's eat before this food gets cold." Eddie said, and she dished out food for the three of them.

The next day things weren't much better. Joe was giving Jamie the silent treatment, and Eddie had left the apartment, and went back to her own. Jamie was upset, thinking Eddie had left because of his fight with Joe. "I'm going to chinatown." Joe said, before dashing out of the apartment.

"You forgot to lock the door." Jamie shouted out in a frustrated tone of voice, before locking the door.

Joe was always interested in checking out chinatown and today seemed like the perfect day. He walked the 3 blocks it took to get there, and suddenly he was immersed in this whole other place. It was still New York, but he felt like he was in a little piece of China. There were vendors everywhere, for both food and other items. He was mostly interested in the clothes. Last night when Eddie and him were looking at the computer, they had found a nice brown leather jacket. Eddie had said they sell some similar, for a real decent price in chinatown, and that he had to try there first.

Joe explored, until he found a vendor selling jackets. "Hello is there anything you are looking for today?" the vendor asked.

"Yes I would like to purchase this jacket. Do have it in a 34?" Joe replied.

"I do. Let me just check in back." the vendor said.

The vendor checked, and came back with the correct sized jacket. "Will that be all?" the vendor asked.

"I noticed you sell leather bracelets and also square coin purses. Can I have one black bracelet, a blue coin purse and a green coin purse." Joe replied.

"Sure. We take cash only." the vendor said.

Joe took out his wallet and paid for all the items. "Have a good day." the vendor said.

"You as well." Joe said.

Joe left and started walking back to the apartment. Joe placed his items in the reusable bag he had brought with him, to hide what they were. 'I hope Jamie likes this. I also hope Eddie and Angie like the coin purses.' Joe thought internally.

Truth be told he was very concerned, because fighting with Jamie was really hurting him, and he knew Jamie was hurting just as bad. He had never meant for things to get this out of hand. He knew they were spiraling and he had to get them back to a good place.

Joe got back to the apartment and Jamie started on him, right after he hide the gifts in his room. "You forgot to lock the door. You have to be more responsible." Jamie snapped.

"Responsible... You know what..." Joe started but then stopped himself. 'Don't make this worse.' Joe thought internally, before continuing "I'm sorry. I got excited and left in such a hurry. I will try to remember to lock the door next time." Joe finished.

'He didn't try to fight with me just then. I wonder if he is hurting as much as me. He must be, if he doesn't want to keep trying to pick a fight with me.' Jamie thought internally. "Okay thanks." Jamie said rather dismissively.

'He let it go... maybe tomorrow things will be better. He will want to make up.' Joe thought.

Joe wasn't really talking to Jamie, but he needed to know about dinner. "Will Eddie be joining us for dinner?" Joe asked, in as politely a tone as he could muster currently.

"No she has laundry to do. Will Angie be joining us?" Jamie replied, trying also to be polite.

"No she has to work late at the shelter." Joe answered.

"Okay then it's just us." Jamie said flatly. 'Great what do I do now? What if we fight again?' Jamie thought internally.

"Right, just us." Joe echoed. 'If we have even one more fight, I'm concerned we won't ever make up.' Joe was having an internal panic and he quickly left the room, before Jamie noticed.

When Joe got to his room, his hands were shaking. He closed the door and slumped down against it. "I screwed up... Mom... I screwed up with Jamie. You always taught me to be supportive and be caring, and I wasn't that yesterday. I was heartless with Jamie." Joe whispered.

Joe just sat there against the door and continued to wallow in his misery. In the living room, Jamie was feeling similar thoughts. He was laying on the window seat and he was really sad. "Why did we have to keep fighting? Why did we have to keep hurting each other further? I love him and I hurt him. Mom you didn't raise me this way, and I'm sorry for disappointing you." Jamie whispered, as a stray tear fell from his eye.

He wiped away the tear and pulled the blanket tighter around him. He fell asleep to thoughts of their Mom, and a time when they all got along great.

Joe walked out of his room and saw Jamie asleep on the window seat. Joe smiled, as he watched Jamie sleeping. 'How could I ever fight with someone, who looks that adorable when he's sleeping.' Joe thought as he made some tea.

He made the last pot of his favorite tea and thought 'Darn... I'll have to buy more this week.'. He sat on one of the stools at the island and sipped his tea, while he continued to think of their mother. She had been the one who helped them when they had the really bad fights. She had made them see things from the other persons perspective, and had them place themselves in the other siblings shoes. It had always felt like a big task, but when they finally did that, they felt better.

Joe thought a bit more, 'So putting myself in his shoes, what would I feel?' 'Well let's see... He's got a gorgeous partner and he has to ride with her everyday. He goes out for drinks with her after work, which could be considered a date to others. He's been undercover with her where they played a couple... oh gosh. No wonder he fell for her.' Joe realized that he was mad at Jamie for silly reasons. He was mad at Jamie, for something that was completely out of his control.

Jamie stirred and mumbled something incoherent. Joe poured him a cup of tea, thinking he would want one, when he finally shook the sleep off. He was right, because a few minutes later Jamie hastily grabbed the tea and started drinking it. "You make great tea." Jamie commented in passing, before going back to the window seat.

Jamie looked out the window at all the people walking by, and he saw two brothers. Well to him they could have been brothers, and they seemed to be laughing and talking. 'That was us two days ago. Will that ever be us again?' Jamie thought.

"We both skipped lunch. Eat this." Joe said, and placed a sandwich next to Jamie.

"Thanks." Jamie said.

"Even when fighting no one goes hungry." Joe said, reciting the rule they had made all those years ago.

"Yeah." Jamie confirmed.

Jamie ate his sandwich in silence and Joe went back to the kitchen to eat his own sandwich. Joe realized that he couldn't stay mad at Jamie. Jamie was following his heart and somehow that was normal. Everyone did it and really you couldn't be blamed for that. Jamie always had a timing problem, but at least he was happy. Joe hadn't seen him this happy since before he "died". Things seemed better, aside from their fight. When he fixed things with Jamie, he knew that everything would be okay.

3 hours into a good book, Joe could smell dinner from his bedroom. "I guess that settles who's cooking tonight." Joe said out loud. Jamie had indeed decided to cook and Joe's curiosity got the better of him. Fighting aside he left the room and walked into the kitchen. "Pasta?" Joe questioned.

"Yes but if you don't like it I can make something else." Jamie said defensively.

"No pasta is fine. I was just wondering what you were cooking." Joe said.

'He's still defensive. I'll have to try again tomorrow.' Joe thought internally as he sat down at the island.

He watched Jamie cook for a while and remembered a time when the pair had cooked together. It had been their mother's birthday, and Joe had insisted he and Jamie make dinner together for her. Erin and Danny had made the cake earlier in the day, and Grandpa was helping them cook dinner. They had gotten her favorite roast in the oven, and were working on the mashed potatoes and other vegetables, when she had come home early. "Henry I want water." Mary said.

"You can't go in the kitchen right now. Allow me to get it for you." Henry said.

"Why can't I go in my own kitchen?" Mary asked.

"You are forbidden. Now go sit down and I will bring you water." Henry commanded.

Mary went to sit down and Henry went into the kitchen. "Nice save Grandpa. She could have spoiled her own birthday dinner." Joe said.

"How much longer until dinner is ready boys?" Henry asked.

"Not much longer. The roast is almost finished and the vegetables too. Mom is going to love this dinner." Jamie replied in an excited voice.

"Well I'm going to try and keep her out of the kitchen as best I can. Your father will be home soon too." Henry said.

"Okay. I can't wait to see Mom's face, when she eats our dinner and Danny and Erin's cake." Joe said, pleased that he and Jamie had cooked such an amazing meal together.

"What were you thinking about?" Jamie asked suddenly, more out of curiosity than anything.

"That time we cooked Mom a birthday dinner." Joe replied, before going back to drinking his tea.

Jamie had hoped the conversation would continue, but Joe had simply shut him down. 'He's not ready yet, and I have to respect that.' Jamie thought.

Dinner was ready in no time, and soon the brothers were eating it, rather silently. The scraping of forks and the swallowing of tea was all that could be heard in the apartment. Jamie and Joe both lost in their own thoughts, couldn't even think of something to say to the other. "Would you like a glass of water?" Joe asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Water... uh sure. Thanks." Jamie replied.

Joe poured two glasses of water from the Brita pitcher in the fridge and came back around to the other side of the island. "Here you go Jam." Joe said, placing the glass in front of him.

"Thanks Joe." Jamie said, taking a sip of the water.

For the moment they had gotten along in the apartment and had required no buffer between them. It was all too perfect. Tomorrow still felt far away to Joe, and he wondered if tomorrow would be the day things were fixed.

The next morning Joe was awake in bed. He couldn't sleep well and had spent most of the night awake, just thinking and trying to get a sense of what he was going to do today. He knew he had to call Danny, but he didn't want to feel like a wimp, or rather get teased by Danny himself for needing advice. It was about 8am and he knew for a fact, that Danny usually got his coffee at some bodega around this time. Joe picked up his phone and dialed Danny's number.

Danny's phone rang, just as he paid for his and Maria's coffees. "Hello?" Danny said as he answered his phone.

"Danny it's me Joe." Joe replied.

"Hey Joe. How's it going?" Danny asked.

"Not good." Joe replied.

"Oh really. Would you care to elaborate?" Danny asked.

"Jamie and I had a big fight. He's dating his partner and..." Danny cut him off.

"He is? Good for him. Finally he went after her." Danny said.

"Anyways I blew up at him and told him that he was breaking the rules, and that I basically wasn't proud of him for this. Now I don't know what to do." Joe said.

"Well first of all, he's our brother. We have to be happy for him, no matter how he gets the girl. I know he broke the rules, but at this point, I've learned that Jamie will be Jamie. He marches to the beat of his own drum." Danny said.

"Yeah? That makes sense. He has this independent vibe going on. I'm so happy for him, and I really like Eddie. She's great for him. I want him to know that I love him, and that I'm sorry for chewing him out." Joe said.

"Just make him a nice lunch and apologize. Be straight forward, no beating around the bush. Show him you really care and he'll forgive you. Jamie isn't one to hold on to his anger for very long." Danny said.

"That makes me feel so much better. Thanks Danny, you're the best." Joe said.

"That's what I'm here for. Now if you need me again, you know how to reach me." Danny said.

"Thanks man. Be safe out there." Joe said.

"I will. Bye." Danny said and hung up.

Joe continued to lay in his bed and think about what Danny had just told him. Meanwhile Jamie, who was in the kitchen, was picking up his phone and dialing the same number, as Joe had not long ago.

Danny picked up the phone and said "Boy family really loves me this morning." without thinking.

"Really? Who else called you?" Jamie asked.

"Not call. Text. Erin texted me this morning about a case we are working on. So what did you need kid?" Danny replied.

"Well see... I had a fight with Joe. It's bad and we are barely speaking. I don't know how to fix this, because he's been away from us for so long." Jamie said.

"That's never stopped you before kid. Listen... Joe's probably feeling the same way as you. He has no idea what to do, because you two never really fought and this is a big one. Just try and figure out how to break the ice." Danny said.

"But how?" Jamie asked.

"Use your brain Harvard. Joe's into that herbal tea crap I hate. Make him some of that and have a sit down with him. Tell him how you feel and apologize. Joe will forgive you Jamie. Just hear him out too okay." Danny replied.

"I will. Thanks. In case no one else tells you today, you're a great brother." Jamie said.

"Don't get all sentimental on me. I appreciate it though." Danny said.

"Bye and be safe." Jamie said.

"Bye kid." Danny said and hung up.

"What did your brothers want?" Maria asked, after Danny finished his second phone call.

"Advice about a fight they were having with each other." Danny replied.

"When did you become the go to guy for advice?" Maria said surprised.

"Haven't you heard? I'm great at giving advice. Not so much at following advice." Danny said.

"That sounds like the Danny I know." Maria said with a chuckle.

Back at the apartment things were quiet. Jamie was making breakfast, omelets with some sausage inside and cheese, and Joe was feeling hungry. He came out of his bedroom and saw Jamie cooking. "Omelets? I can't remember the last time I had a good one. I can never make them right." Joe admitted.

"Good thing you have me." Jamie said rather quickly, turning his focus back on the pan.

Breakfast was painless, coffee and omelets, and a newspaper shared between the two of them. There was no fight for the sports section, because Joe had no interest in reading it today. It was very careful and composed, each being ever so careful not to step on the others toes. Both afraid to start another fight, they kept Danny's words in mind and each formulated a plan. "Is it okay if I cook lunch? It's only fair since you cooked breakfast for us." Joe asked.

"Oh lunch... well sure. I always love your lunches." Jamie replied, as he looked up from the sports section.

The jets weren't doing well and Jamie was upset about that. Jamie was a loyal jets fan, much like the rest of the Reagan's. "The jets are doing terrible." Jamie said, trying to make conversation.

"Is that so? I didn't know that." Joe said, looking up from the book he had taken to reading.

"Oh you're reading a book. Sorry I interrupted you..." Jamie trailed off.

"No it's fine really..." Joe said, but Jamie had gone back to reading the paper.

'Danny this is harder than it looks.' Joe thought internally as he went back to reading his book.

The morning passed by what felt like slower than usual, but in reality the time went by the same as always. Joe was cooking lunch in no time and Jamie seemingly making tea. Joe accidentally bumped into Jamie and almost lost the lettuce to the floor. "I'm sorry. I should leave the kitchen." Jamie said, feeling bad.

"No please stay. It's fine. I could use your help chopping a tomato." Joe said handing him a knife and tomato.

Jamie chopped the tomato and threw it in the salad. Joe had cooked two chicken breasts and was slicing them into strips. He added other vegetables Jamie chopped to the salad, and then the dressing and chicken. "Erin mentioned you've been eating salads for lunch a lot lately. This recipe was a favorite when I was undercover." Joe said.

"Erin gives away all my secrets. Actually yeah I'm trying to get more vegetables in my diet. Eddie... she controls where we eat on meals. I hope my next partner is a salad eater." Jamie said.

"Salad eaters are hard to come by. I remember this one partner... I had him for one week only and he was this vegetarian." Joe commented. "You would have liked him."

"I bet." Jamie said.

Joe placed the salads on the island, and some of the tea Jamie had made next to each bowl, along with a fork. 'That's the most we've talked since the fight started.' Joe noticed.

They sat down and started eating. "Joe... I... I'm sorry." Jamie said after he swallowed a bite of salad.

Joe turned and looked at Jamie. He was trying to read Jamie, but he couldn't. "I messed up and did things the wrong way, and I fought with you. I'm so sorry for fighting with you. I never meant to hurt you with all the vicious words I said. Please forgive me, because I'm dying inside, knowing that you are hurting." Jamie finished.

"Jamie I was wrong too. I should have been happy for you right off the bat. It's been so long and I wasn't sure how to react, but now I know the way I did was wrong. You were looking for support, not rejection, and that's what I gave you... rejection. I'm sorry I didn't show more support. You're my brother and I gotta be happy for you. I really like Eddie and I think she completes you nicely. You know Mom would have loved her." Joe said. "Forgive me also, because I can't stand to fight with you and be silent another minute. I miss my brother." Joe finished.

Jamie got up and left the room. Joe felt hurt for a moment, until Jamie came back with a bag and handed it to him. Joe opened the bag and pulled out a box of his favorite tea. "Oh Jamie... I just ran out of this. Thank you so much." Joe expressed with a warm smile. He pulled out a box of strawberry and a box of blackberry and smiled. "I've always wanted to try blackberry tea. Now I can thanks to you." Joe said.

"I hoped you would like my choices." Jamie said.

"I love it Jamie." Joe said and left to go to his room.

Jamie was puzzled, but Joe returned with his own bag. He reached in and pulled out a jacket. "This is for you. I got it yesterday in chinatown." Joe said, handing the jacket to Jamie.

Jamie took the jacket and tried it on. It was a perfect fit and Jamie couldn't help but smile. "I love it! How did you know my size? Did Erin help you?" Jamie asked.

"Give me some credit bro. I still remember your size, it hasn't changed much over the years." Joe replied.

"I will admit I had some help with your gift." Jamie said.

"I had a bit of help too." Joe admitted.

"Eddie?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah. You too?" Joe replied.

"Yeah. She's great eh." Jamie said.

"She sure is. I got her a chinese coin purse in chinatown, but something tells me she deserves to be spoiled, for putting up with and helping us." Joe said.

"Oh I plan to spoil her at Metro burger, and also make the most of our suspension. I'm seeing a whole day together." Jamie declared.

"Jamie... I don't care what Dad or anyone else says, you hold on to her. I was wrong and Dad, when he comes around he will be happy for you too. You'll see." Joe said.

"I hope so. I couldn't live with Dad being permanently mad at me." Jamie said.

"I know the feeling. I wouldn't like that either." Joe said.

The brothers, all made up, enjoyed their lunch and the time they had together.


End file.
